I've been making a pretty big deal over my 30th coming up, and honestly, whether you think that's a good idea or a bad idea, you agree or disagree... this time, it doesn't matter to me. I've been making a pretty big deal over my 30th coming up because of this...
Every day of my life is a struggle, a battle within my body. Some days I can barely walk, some days my breathing feels like an elephant on my chest, some days I rarely talk at all because my jaw is so weak, and some days it does get to me and I'm sad about this new life I'm living. On top of my health I was handed something I never wanted to receive and yet I have no choice but to deal with it. We can't control some circumstances, but we can control our attitude about it.
So leading up to my 30th, I wanted to focus on me, as much as possible... not in a narcissistic sense, but in finding the little joys in life. So I had the idea of "30 days til 30". For the month leading up to my birthday, I decided each day I would do something that made me smile, made me happy, was fun. I really had no rules or goals for this other than keeping it as low cost as possible. It was in absolutely no way an all day thing, just one simple thing a day... a couple minutes really.
I started out with so many ideas in mind... I wanted to go horseback riding, fly a helicopter, get a make-over, have a photo shoot, test drive an expensive car, so on and so forth. But that's more of a bucket list than a 30 days til 30 list, and my body wouldn't be able to handle all that, so I didn't do any of those.
What I did do is this... I found the simple joys in life again. I remembered that happiness comes from within and isn't dependent upon any other person or thing. I smiled and laughed at the little things. I felt my heart blessed in ways I wouldn't even imagine... and it wasn't always from the one little thing I did per day... it was from the ongoing transformation within me making me notice every joy a little bit more. I remembered to cherish all those "little things" we typically overlook.
In all 30 days the total cost was $6. $6!! Granted, I did use a couple gift cards, and my mom lent me $1 lol... but still even if you include all that the total was only about $20. Money doesn't put a smile on your face, your attitude and heart does.
So what did I do in the literal sense? Little things that you might not even consider as anything special... things you might laugh at, things that might be common for healthy people. Some of what I did was this-
- built a 6 inch snowman
- took a nap
- drew a picture
- built with legos, yeah that's right!
- watched the sun rise
- wrote poems
- taught myself piano on my old keyboard
- lit a candle, put in my ear buds and relaxed, actually relaxed
When your physical strength gets used up quickly, you really have to get creative. There were some days I could barely get out of bed, but somehow I came up with something to do right there laying down. A lack of physical ability doesn't mean you can't still enjoy the little joys of life... honestly I enjoy them moreso now than I did pre-MG/POTS.
Tomorrow isn't just closing out another year, it's closing out a decade... it's putting the past behind me and leaving it there, moving forward with a positive attitude, some amazing family and friends by my side, and knowing God's got this.
So yeah, I'm making a big deal over 30... because I'm ready to rock this!
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