Nearly 4 years ago my heart was shattered. After moving 20 hours away, losing my health and not knowing what more there was to lose, my husband at the time left me for another. Right around that same time, my life forever changed for the better. One moment in time, I stood up both literally and figuratively for my faith, for Jesus suffering and dying on the cross so that we could be here, so that we could have eternal life with Him! At that moment, this light and burst of energy flew through me and filled me and I was overcome with something deeper than emotion. I was filled with the Holy Spirit. I was saved. I made Jesus Lord of my life. An ongoing transformation has occurred within me ever since.
The following months and even years didn't get easier as what followed included several serious diagnoses, moving back to Chicago, surgery, a pulmonary embolism and what I never imagined happening to myself- divorce. But I kept my eyes on above, I kept my focus on Him and He filled me with strength to get through it.
Making Jesus Lord of your life doesn't mean life here on earth will necessarily get easier, but it does mean it will sure be worth it. It will be worth it when you have to one day answer to no one other than Him. It will be worth it when your choice here on earth leads to eternal life in heaven. And He will be faithful and good to those who have been called to live according to His purpose, to those who desire to live for Him despite their circumstances, to those who love Him and love others... making that love a choice, an action.
I have struggled, I have failed, but I continue to keep my eyes on Him and He continues to bless me immensely more than I could have ever imagined already. During the time of all my loss, I had a vision come to me. I was sitting in a park having a picnic with a man and his little girl. That vision has remained in the back of my mind. Along with that, ever since the day I became a Christian, I had an instant desire to get into ministry in some way, however I am physically capable, and if my health ever permitted the thought of missionary has continuously cross my mind. Lastly, not anything spiritual but of my own, I've always had a desire to live in a small town with a close family like community, to see horses every day and be out in nature. And on a somewhat joking matter, always thought it would be pretty awesome to work right across the street from where I live.
Well, God has given me that and then some. I have been blessed with a godly man, a man who has gone through so much himself yet continues to serve others in a big way. He has overcome his own struggles and stepped up into Senior Ministry. He is faithful and loving and one of the most amazing, active fathers I have ever witnessed. When he sees me, he sees my heart, not my neck brace or my wheel chair when I have to use one. He's shared in my pains, in my joys, in my mistakes and in my life. He's taught me it's not just all about truth, that you have to have some grace too.
Him and I have had a lot stacked against us but one thing we know is we only need one that is for us... If God is for us who can be against us. Romans 8:31. Doubts have often filled us but just recently we had a conversation that shook up our lives. We both realized we can live in faith or we can live in fear. We decided to live in faith and to take a leap of faith in trusting God in one of the biggest decisions of our lives.
Saturday, at a waterfall in my favorite state of North Carolina, he proposed, and I said yes! We are beyond excited to start our lives serving God together.
You know that vision I had a while back? That desire to be in ministry. Well once again God works for the good of those who love Him and are called to live according to His purpose. My fiance has a beautiful daughter and I now get the joy of being her stepmom. As a Senior Pastor, I get to serve along side him in whatever ways I am capable. He lives in a small town beautifully surrounded by mountains. Just so happens where he lives is right across the street from where he works. But we can also be missionaries right in our own community, leading people to Jesus. If ever a dream comes true, this is it. But it's not when you wish upon a star and it's not a fairy tale ending. It's only the beginning, and it's only happening because him and I both have made the choice to serve God and serve others, the choice to love not as an emotion but as an action, the choice to become one and put each other before our individual selves.
We are not naive in thinking it's going to be easy, rather we know this is going to be probably the hardest thing we've ever done. But we've both been through a lot and we know we can get through more. We can't do it on our own but we can do it with Him. The verse I live by is Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It is true, we can do all things when we allow God to work in us and through us, when we glorify Him for all His goodness. God is good, ALL the time. Don't give up even when times get tough. You can't see the bigger picture, but He certainly can. He will work for the good of those who love Him and are called to live according to His purpose.
So for the details you all are probably wondering- We're planning on getting married very soon and having a very simple and small family ceremony. At a later date we do hope to have a celebration gathering with friends from both near and far, but details for that will come later.
Please join us in prayer for all the multiple things that have been in progress and coming together, closing on his house, to not get stressed with all the details, for a memorable and personal day as we take this leap of faith, and that wake up every day of our lives making the choice to love each other and others by our actions, in both truth and grace no matter the circumstances. That we always choose to put God first, to love Him, to honor Him and to serve Him wherever we are and whatever we do. I pray all of these thing in Jesus name, Amen.
God bless and whether you are a friend of his or a friend of mine, thank you for your continued love and support.
Heather, I can't begin to express how very happy I am for you. It's hard for me to imagine this is the same young lady I never heard of before who sent me a private message four years ago. it was private and personal so we'll leave it at that. We both know what you wrote to me. You also know what I wrote back. Now just look at you four years later. You've not only matured tremendously in your faith,but getting married,and putting action behind your faith, in sheer faith believing God will give both you and your soon husband to be the strength both of you need to actively serve Him in a manner you never imagined. I feel so privileged when I think about how we met. Of all people,{me} God would tell you what He did,and you acted on it.I'd like to think in some small way I helped you. If so,we both know Who we give the glory to, Just one more proof when The Bible says,"With God all things are possible." I love you "wee" one.God bless you and I pray you always feel His presence around you. My best wishes always,Heather
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