So those symptoms I last spoke of... the pain/labored breathing and such in my chest and back... well it seems as quickly as they came on they have basically gone away... but not before convincing me to get it checked out. As soon as I made the decision to ask the doctor to check it out, symptoms left. Perhaps God's way of letting me know. Unfortunately it looks like I can add my heart to my list of organs/systems that want to quit on me.
My doctor ordered an EKG. The tech was having issues with one particular reading. Typically I'd think she was doing something wrong or the machine wasn't registering right, but today I just had a feeling that wasn't the case. And by the looks of her face it seemed like something was off. My doctor called me a few hours later. I should have known immediately, as when the doctor himself calls it's not going to be good news. My EKG was abnormal. He talked in all these doctor terms I didn't understand but said it seems I have a certain heart condition. Looking it up all that popped out to me was "may cause sudden death." Alrighty then, so can a car. He wants me to do a holter monitor Monday-Tuesday and get an echocardiogram, which the soonest available was in 2 weeks unless he changes it to stat. After those tests I should have more answers on what exactly is going on and he will set me up with a cardiologist.
I asked if this could be caused by, and therefore go away after, the PE. His answer was a clear no. He asked if I had previously had heart testing and I said yes in San Antonio but they didn't find anything really wrong. So I wonder, did they miss something? Or did this just develop? And if it just developed once again I'm very annoyed with the hospital I was at. When I was there for the pulmonary embolism, the pulmonologist and cardiologist and I believe even the hematologist talked about an echocardiogram. But the surgery team overruled everything. I even asked if they could do it because I was concerned about my heart and they said they saw no reason. Now I'm starting to wonder if they are trying to bring on problems in people. I mean really... after the surgery I talked about my increased breathing trouble and asked for lung imaging and they refused... and then after pe I talked about my chest symptoms and asked for heart testing and they refused. Sounds a bit conspiracy theory-ish to me. And also angers me a bit. Perhaps both of these things could have been prevented.
I don't think it's quite registered.... and maybe it shouldn't. I don't have a confirmed definite diagnosis, just prelim until all results are in. So I'm going to try and forget about it until I know more. It definitely is discouraging though when I keep getting more and more problems. Please God, can you turn my life around for me? Bless myself and my family with all that is good, loving, happy and healthy?
I didn't add this in my last post because I forgot, but here goes nothing. When I last met with my doctor he basically straight up told me how serious a pulmonary embolism is, as in I'm pretty lucky I'm alive. I mean I already knew this, but it was then that I realized how amazingly fortunate I was. He explained by the sounds of everything- how I had pain in my calf, pain in my calf, pain in my calf, and then no pain and pulmonary embolism (which I told the hospital by the way but they didn't find anything apparently) that it sounds like I had a clot in my leg and that it broke off in pieces and went to my lungs... due to the fact that I have many multiple clots in both sides of my lungs. He said this is actually a very good thing because had it broken off in one piece it would be one major clot and that's what could have killed me before even having a chance to get to the ER. Wow. It really makes me realize how close I was. Wow.
And now today adding a heart problem into the mix, for the first time it kind of hit me that who knows how long I have. I mean I've thought about that before that no one knows how long they have. But today it was moreso like the song, live like you were dying. Maybe I should, what's the worst that could happen? I live to be 100 and look back and say that was awesome? I mean really.
Health problems really change your life. It changes who you are closest with, who you can relate to, how you live, how you look at things, what you do. It changes everything. Doctor visits, pains and bills aside, I tend to think it changes everything for the better.
I know there will most likely be some people who read this and think oh how depressing, why would she talk about that, how negative etc. etc. You know what? Then don't read my blog. End of story. I appreciate everyone who does read it and the point of a blog- to be able to express myself. And I mean this all in a positive light. I AM ALIVE! I'm still fighting! I survived a PE! I'm stronger than I've ever been at the same time as being weaker than I've ever been and even if that makes no sense to anyone else, it makes perfect sense to me.
ps. I sold my first MG shirt! As soon as I create better/more designs I'll post a link if any other fellow MGers or supporters would like to purchase :)
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