December baby

Nope, no baby yet! But it looks like our November baby will now be a December baby! 40 weeks came and went and we're still waiting!

At my 40 week appointment, dr said all still looks well. He wants to start talking induction at 41 weeks. I don't. But I do like and trust him so we'll discuss. In the mean time, I'm hoping and praying baby comes sooner... not too soon... not this weekend as there is too much going on... but Monday or later that week would be great.

So the reason I don't want an induction is this. If you know my detailed medical past, you know I don't do well with hospitals, with dr's, with medical interventions and everything in between. My body just does not do well with any of it. What I do do well with? Natural. As natural as can be. I do well with trusting my gut, trusting God and going with it. That's what got me where I'm at today, not dr's, with all due respect- no matter how good they are. I trust all the experiences of the women who carried babies to 42 weeks trusting their own gut and waited. I trust the risks outweigh the benefits when it comes to an induction of a very healthy stable pregnancy still at this point of 40+ weeks. And I trust all the research I've put into this- the classes, learning others experiences, books, scientific research. See there are 2 sides- mainstream medical care and natural. Natural is just as good, or in my opinion better, outside of true emergencies- but mainstream won't tell you that. You have to find that out for yourself. So no, I'm not going into this blindly or naively. My husband can tell you how much time I've put into this. I've even had those in this field say I'm more prepared and knowledgeable than even a second or third time mom. I'm ready for this!

Yes I know, I've never been pregnant, it's a different ballgame. What I do know is my body has loved being pregnant and handled it so very well. I just hope it's not handling it so well it doesn't want to let go of being pregnant and keep me this way forever lol. Joshua's got to come out at some time, one way or another.

See induction means this- intervention with risks. Once those interventions and risks are started it's most likely going to be a spiral filled with them. Contractions are much harder and closer together with an induction. So many end up getting an epidural when they otherwise wouldn't. Then the epidural comes with risks- more so for me being on blood thinners, having MG and scoliosis, and just not responding well to meds in general. And then what sometimes comes after that- a failed induction resulting in a c section- more meds, more risks, more time needing to heal. Along with all that is this- pitocin to start induction means fake oxytocin. Oxytocin is the natural feel good hormone. So all that feel good in the midst of worst pain of my life, won't even be there. Oxytocin also helps bonding with the baby after. Again, I then fear I won't have that bond with the baby which if you've been reading you already know that struggle. I need the oxytocin. I need this to go natural... at least as long as I can deal with.

Yes, I want natural because it's what I've hoped and planned for. I want to prove to myself I can do it. But mostly for all these valid reasons listed above. And one other big thing- I want to fully experience all of pregnancy. This may sound crazy but this is most likely a once in a lifetime opportunity for me- pregnancy, labor and birth. I want to feel the realness of it, the rawness of it, how God originally created it. If I can't handle it, fine, but at least I can say I tried. I want that experience of going into labor naturally, not knowing when it will be, the excitement of going to the hospital, having J hold my hand through it, depending on God's strength for my own until He brings out this baby He created in me. That, that is my motivation for a natural birth.

So please pray, not this weekend, but shortly after Joshua decides he wants to be here- earthside- to meet his mommy and daddy who have patiently, or maybe my not so patiently, been waiting for him! Please pray I can have and tolerate that natural birth! And please pray that all goes well, healthy and stable through labor, delivery and the recovery period of days and weeks to come. What I do need and what helps is prayers, support and encouragement. I already know I shouldn't worry, I already know other's have their own experiences and advice, I already know for the most part what's normal and what's not. But to be honest, the thing that doesn't at all help and what really stresses me out is handing out mainstream medical advice if I don't ask for it and criticism for anything you disagree with. So please if you don't agree with my/our decisions, just pray and leave it at that. If you think I should be doing something differently, just pray and leave it at that. I'm not going to be perfect, but I trust God's got this. Please let Him be the one who speaks to me through this. 💗

Thank you!!