Originally Posted: What do you desire?

***When I returned to Chicago 3.5 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be.***

Originally Posted: March 12, 2014
What do you desire?

There are days I decide I'm not going on my computer... for whatever reason... I need to rest, I have other things to do, I need to take a break from technology, etc. Those most often seem to be the days a topic is placed inside me to write on. Most of the time it passes before I get on the computer, sometimes I write it down to write later. But by the time "writing later" arrives, the energy of that topic has subsided. It all brings me to realize with God's time, the time is now. It doesn't matter what I have planned or don't have planned. If he placed something in my heart, it is my job to carry it through.

So today, I "planned" to rest- watch movies and read some books- all from the library which I stopped at yesterday. I did a lot yesterday and so today I need to rest. That was my plan at least. So I'm watching a movie, "Oblivion" of all things, as well as reading a book someone recommended to me "Chasing Francis" by Ian Morgan Cron. Crazy combination of the two but together they brought about a thought, a topic to write on. I almost let it pass, let it slip away, and then I thought no- there might be someone out there God wants to read this, I have to write it. So I closed my book, turned off the tv, turned on my computer and here I am.

We all have desires... for people, for things, for feelings, for accomplishments. What we desire is what we go after. But will a desire ever be enough? Will any thing or multiple things ever be enough? Will people ever be enough? Will you ever be enough or I ever be enough? Will we ever fill that void we feel with all these things and people? Can we, at any point, say we obtained it? We achieved it? We reached it? And if so what more do we have to go after? If we have nothing left to go after, why are we still living? Are we going after the right thing? Are we living for the right thing? For the right people? Is a desire nothing more than something to keep us going? And therefore is what we desire keeping us going in the right direction?

We want to feel needed, we want to feel wanted, we want to feel like we matter. We want to give and to receive. We want happiness, pleasure, fun, enjoyment, success, enrichment. We want it all, yes as humans we want it all.

Has any human ever had it all? Has any human successfully filled their desires, that void, with people, places, things? And if not, then why not?

I believe at the root of all these desires is the desire for love... to love and to be loved... and everything that falls into the middle. And I believe even if many people realize that the base of their desire is love, that they define it incorrectly and thus end up going after the wrong people and things.

You can define love in so many different ways. But if you look Biblically you find- God is love. So backing up, if the root of all our desires is the desire for love... then the root of all our desires is the desire for God.

We desire God. We need God. Only God can fill that emptiness, that void, that space we desire to be filled.

Deep inside us all is this hole that needs to be filled. We fill it with desires. But none of those worldly desires will ever be enough. No person will ever be enough. I will never be enough for anyone, and no one will ever be enough for me. The only One large enough to fit that space is God.

If we put God first, and always first, He will lead us. He will show us where to go and how to get there. He will lead us to others He wants us to have relationships or friendships with. He will strengthen us. He will equip us.

God works for the good of those who love Him and who have been called to live according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 HIS purpose. Not mine, not yours. HIS.

But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

So I wrote... I had a slight delay of course as I didn't immediately listen to what was placed inside me, but I can only hope and pray what He wanted me to say came out and reaches the right person, whoever that is out there. After all, we all need to constantly be reminded of this as we struggle to live in His spirit with the desires and surroundings of the flesh. Stay encouraged. Stay focused. Keep your heart set on Him. In His love, God bless.