Story Time

There was a girl. She went to school, got a job, got married. Her and her husband had two healthy kids. They both made a decent amount of money, lived in a nice sized home and walked through the motions of life. Day in and day out until the last day. The end.

That wasn't a very exciting story was it? It was pretty boring. It really had no purpose. That story couldn't really inspire or change anyone. It didn't lead anywhere or have any ups and downs. It definitely wouldn't be made into a book or a movie.

Now think of a story you already know... a fairy tale... a disney movie... think of Cinderella, or 101 Dalmatians even. Perhaps that takes you back to your childhood, brings on emotions and thoughts of blissfulness and fun, or reminds you of a lesson learned. 

Between that 'Once upon a time' and 'Happily ever after' lies conflict.  There is always a battle, a struggle or something the main character has to get through. Cinderella had a struggle with her step sisters and lost her shoe. 101 Dalmations had the evil lady who wanted to steal all the puppies. Pretty much any story you read or movie you watch will have conflict. That's what gets you watching in the first place and keeps you watching to find out what happens.

Now think about your own life. Maybe it hasn't gone the way you hoped. Maybe you've been presented with a set of struggles you never imagined and don't know what to do with. Maybe you wish your story was more like the boring first example.

Just remember, without the struggle, there isn't really much of a story. When a struggle comes along, there is then an opportunity with it. There is an opportunity to overcome, opportunity to inspire, opportunity to teach and encourage others. 

So as you go through life and encounter daily or even life long struggles, keep that in mind. More importantly, know that there is a purpose. God may be using you to reach others... to inspire, to teach, to encourage, to lead others to Him. 

You have the opportunity to turn each test into a testimony. You even have the opportunity to reach your own 'happily ever after' by accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. In this world you will have troubles, but if you have accepted Him, there will be a day those struggles will end and you will one day meet Him and your happily ever after will be eternity in heaven. Make the most of the life you've been given and make your story one worth reading. 

God bless.

Help in hard times

Let me recap a major part of my story. Let me recap it going backwards.

On one evening in July of 2012, I randomly asked someone why they loved Christmas so much if Jesus meant nothing to them. The words they spoke cracked open my heart. That crack allowed the Holy Spirit in and forever change me. I was saved. If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

Why did I ask this question? The only answer I can provide to that is that the moments leading up to this provoked this question within me. Shortly before that evening, this person I asked this question to had returned as a completely different person from the man I knew. He claimed to no longer believe in God or Jesus. Shortly before that, he went on a bachelor party trip. Shortly before that, I was hospitalized after being chronically sick for over 2 years. Shortly before that was when him and I moved to Texas. Shortly before that, neither of us had jobs in Chicago, I had been laid off due to downsizing. And that's where my "story" really begins.

I say all this because when "bad" things happen in our lives we wonder why. We wonder what we did to cause them. We wonder why we got the short stick and others didn't. We tend to focus on the bad and overlook the good. We tend to see it as going downhill with no end in sight.

I thought losing my job was the end of the world. I thought with losing my health it couldn't get any worse. Losing my husband was unimaginable.

But pause for a moment. Let me take you back to that evening in July of 2012. I was saved. I was saved! I have Jesus in my life now! I know Him like I didn't before!

In your own life, are you going through some very difficult times? Do you think there is no end in sight? Do you think you no longer serve a purpose because you lost your job or got sick? Have other people abandoned you? Do you maybe even think God has abandoned you?

That one simple question I asked that night changed my life forever. The only reason I asked that question was because of the series of events that happened before it. Those moments I saw as bad were the exact moments and events needing to happen to lead to that question... for me to feel enough pain for my heart to crack open and be filled with the Holy Spirit.

What you are going through could be the exact set of events needed to bring you right to where God wants you to be. It could be leading up to something that makes it all worth it. And if you allow it to, those hard times could be preparing you, allowing you to grow and become more of what God intends for you. And you can use what you have been through to minister to others who are now going through it.

So as you encounter something difficult in life, know that there is always more to it than we can see. God has a plan. Will you trust in that plan? Will you trust Him? Will you hand over all the broken pieces so He can pick them up and build them back up for you?

Update to the update

Thank you to everyone who was praying for me.

Today was the test, and at the last minute I decided to forgo the sedation. Honestly, I was more nervous about the sedation and risk to my MG than the test itself. I was praying about it and felt God telling me I can handle it but it's in my hands to what I decide to do. I decided I've been through worse, He is right, I can handle this. No sedation.

The doctor said all seems fine which is great. However, I've been in quite a bit of pain today. Pain is not supposed to happen after the fact, but I'm never normal. The doctor called me directly today to discuss it and I have to let him know if it doesn't go away in the next 2 days. Another thing- I don't really do pain meds, so I'm just sort of tolerating this with the help of icy-hot.

But I got to thinking. I am just full of thanks today and praising God for all He has blessed me with. And that- praising God through it ALL- changes everything. Everything.

Thank You Lord, for allowing me to do this test without sedation, for guiding the doctor's hands and comforting me through it. Thank You Lord, for all going well, no complications and the doctor giving me a clean slate as far as the symptom I was having. Thank You Lord, for being with me through each and every symptom, test, diagnosis, procedure, surgery, doctor and medication I encounter. You are my strength. You.

Thank you Lord, for blessing me with such incredible people in my life. I have been praying that You bring those into my life You want in, and remove those You want out, and You have done just that. I trust that with every loss is a gain, one that I may not always see but You always know. Thank You for those who inspire me, encourage me, comfort me and love me. Thank You for those who are doing the work Jesus called us to do. Thank You for helping me do the same and be the best I can be for them also. Thank You for showing me that everything we do we are to do in Your name for You. Thank You for working on me each day to develop me into who You want me to be.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying and continues to pray. Your prayers lift me up to Him and He comforts me. It is truly a blessing to have you pray for me.

Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:19

New symptom, new update

Something happened a few days ago that hasn't happened before and isn't normal. It's too personal to allow the whole world to read about here. Anyways, I need to get a test/procedure done this coming Wednesday to see what's going on. Because of this, I've had to stop several meds/supplements for 5 days prior.

It's only been 3 days off so far and yikes, I'm seeing how much these meds/supplements really do help me.

First, I have felt like I'm getting a bad cold. Of course I could be and that would not be good at all but it seems all too coincidental that it paralleled my stopping garlic, oil of oregano and turmeric supplements as well as stopping drinking green tea. I take these for several reasons- one being my body has an immune deficiency so I can't fight off illness well and these help, and two being to fight candida- systemic yeast overgrowth starting in the gut from too many antibiotics.

Second, my pain has increased... joints, neck/head, back, throat. This happened after stopping my flaxseed supplement which I was told to take for pain and inflammation before I was even diagnosed with anything. I don't tolerate pain meds well so this is my go to supplement and it also has omega 3s which I am slightly deficient in.

Third, my mood- yikes. The rage, anger, emotions, I hate it. I feel like something is in my brain and I need every ounce of me to fight it. But I can't control it and I know exactly what it's from- coming off the rifampin. That is the prescription med used to treat bartonella, the lyme disease co-infection. Sometimes I think it's even worse than the lyme. Some people can get this mild form of bartonella typically from a cat scratch or bite, but this form of it is nothing like that. The physical and mental symptoms are absolutely horrible.

Forth, my MG has been acting up. I've been weaker, back muscles are spasming like crazy, eyelids are so droopy, breathing has been tougher- not a good thing going into sedation. I really don't know why this is happening. The only thing I can conclude is my one doctor is absolutely correct that the lyme/bart are bringing out the MG and now that I am on less to control it, it's attacking more and MG is getting worse.

It's all one big mess and it gets so overwhelming. This is the first time in a long time I can't wait to go back on my medications/supplements. It's so sad I need so many things to control all of my conditions and symptoms. I've been on lyme and bartonella treatment for 6 months and there is no end in sight. I've had MG and POTS for about 5 years now and never gone into remission. It's a constant battle that is all too familiar to me but too unknown to everyone who doesn't fight it. It makes you feel alone, lost, hurting. These diseases don't have an end in sight like cancer does. It's not either this will happen or that will happen. This is life. This is my life. I continue to pray daily that the Lord heals me fully, but at the same time I remember how He uses our weaknesses to show His strength. I must look at that as a gift, that God has chosen me to show His great strength.

Please pray for me- that these symptoms subside, that the test/procedure goes very well with no complications and no further diagnosis, and for total healing which I will continue to pray for according to God's will each and every day. Thank you and God bless.

Untitled Part 2

STOP!

First read "Untitled" here then come back and read this.

I listened to that quiet voice and I went to the church I felt God leading me to tonight. Nothing out of the ordinary happened... BUT the sermon spoke on obeying God... even in the little things. Obeying God in the little things, well that sounds familiar.

So I got to thinking.... How many times do we not obey God and things go wrong? How many times do we not even pay attention to the fact that we aren't obeying God because we are too hurried in our lives and focused on the situation rather than the One above?

I'm not talking about the whole following the rules thing. We know the law, we know the rules, we should be following them. I'm talking more 'trivial things' as we tend to see them in the moment.

Maybe you got in a car accident and thankfully you are ok, but looking back you remember hearing that quiet voice that said not to go out today. You ignored it.

Maybe you started pursuing a relationship with someone even though deep inside you sensed something saying stop! Don't do it! The relationship fails and your heart breaks. Was that quiet voice God trying to prevent this from happening?

We look at the big things in life and we focus on those things. What about each and every step that led us there or took us away? Those are the moments we need to quiet ourselves and listen to His voice. Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10. God can speak to you in so many different ways, through other people, into your heart. But it's still up to you to listen, to trust, to obey.

This evening I heard God telling me to go to a specific church even though I planned to and wanted to go to a different one. But I put my own desires aside to trust and follow God. Did anything crazy happen at that service? Not that I know of. Is it the church for me? I don't really think so. So why was I supposed to go there tonight? I might not ever know that but I have to trust. Perhaps God prevented something horrible from happening had I gone to the other church I wanted to. God knows all, I do not. That is why I must obey Him and trust Him.

We may not understand why. It may go against what everyone else is telling you to do. But we aren't followers of self or others, we are followers of God. Stop, listen, and obey. I am confident if you do that God will be leading you where you need to be and all of those trials are in the process of turning into a beautiful testimony.

Untitled

A little background- July 2012 I became a Christian. I was living in Texas. I was fighting for my health as well as fighting for my marriage after my then husband returned days prior from a trip no longer wanting to be married. For some time, I was still going to the Catholic church; it was all still overwhelming and confusing to me. October 2012 I landed in the hospital all the way til December 2012. Still in a wheel chair I practically begged my then husband to take me to a different church because I felt called there. As soon as I arrived, I knew I was at home.

But I needed to get a major surgery and my then husband threatened if I did not go back to Chicago to get that surgery (he wanted me far far away as soon as possible and I held on for 6 months resisting), he would divorce me immediately and I would lose the insurance needed to get that surgery. One of the toughest decisions I've ever made, coming back to Chicago. I've since made peace with that, that though I physically left I had no choice or I would be back in the hospital without anyone to help me. Though I physically left, he emotionally and mentally left 6 months prior. He left the marriage, not me. I was merely leaving to take care of myself in order to have more in me to fight for our marriage. He told me he would not file for divorce until I was able to return and we could figure everything out. I was hoping in the mean time that He would see the light, gain salvation, and all would be restored. What a testimony that would be. I was hanging on to this tiny piece of hope while everyone else was telling me to let go.

When I first came back here to Chicago in January 2013, I was still technically living in Texas. I was always planning on going back to Texas. Get the surgery, recover, return. Instead, my surgery turned into complications, additional diagnoses and treatment. I rarely made it to church because I was rarely strong enough. When I did, it was any church close to home for a short drive so I could handle it or have someone else drive me. In December 2013, I was made aware my then husband filed for divorce before I became strong enough to return. My mind was then on the divorce which dragged on until becoming final on paper in June 2014. Of course, also trying to stay close to God and going to church as often as I could, but my point of this entire background story is this... 

I wasn't looking for a church to call home until the divorce was settled and I knew this, Chicago, was back to being my home. I was pretty resistant at first meaning I didn't want Chicago to be my home. I'm either a Texan or a Southern girl at heart, and yes those two are different. I wanted to be back there, with or without him; I wanted to do anything I could to get back there. But I finally realized, here is where I need to be for now. Even with that, there were and are still many days I am not strong enough or feeling too sick. I've probably been actively looking for a church for only a few months now. In that time I've made it a decent number of different churches, some of them multiple times. And yet I'm still looking. Though I 'like' a few of those churches, they don't feel what I felt in Texas. I miss my home, as I quickly referred to that church.

So when I started writing this, nothing I said above was going to be part of it but for some reason that's what my fingers typed and oddly enough it fits in to my story. What I was going to say is this: I had plans to go check out yet another church tonight, but I've felt God telling me to check out a different one instead. The one I feel Him telling me to check out I was going to actually go tomorrow because on Sundays they have a choir and on Saturdays they do not. I've been resisting, basically trying to reason with God saying come on can't I go tomorrow I know I will like it better then. Well I woke up with some bad nausea this morning. As soon as I said, fine I will go to the church you want me to go to tonight, that nausea subsided. Is God trying to prevent me from going to that other church tonight? Will I ever know or will I ever know why? Probably not. But I must trust that God knows infinitely more than I do. Maybe He is protecting me. Maybe this church tonight is where I'm supposed to be and He just wants to get me there quicker knowing I've been looking for some time and praying for this answer. Maybe... who knows... but God knows, and I must trust that. 

It sounds so trivial just reading this probably. But it's actually so much larger. If we trust God in ALL times... if we listen to that quiet voice and follow it... if we override our own desires with His will for us... maybe the pieces of life will all come together a whole lot easier. He is always there. He is always watching out for us. He wants the best for us. He wants us to follow Him. But we still have that choice. Are we going to listen?

In the beginning, I mentioned what a testimony it would be if my marriage had been restored after all that happened. I was praying for it. I asked everyone else to pray for it. But it didn't happen.While going through it, I wondered why God wouldn't answer that prayer. But maybe He did, in a different way. Maybe He was preventing me from something that would be so much worse that I cannot see because I am not God. Or maybe He knows where He is taking me is better. Maybe that testimony is still being written. Maybe that great ending will still happen. With every quiet voice and every answer 'Yes, God,' I listen. I trust Him. 

Where is God leading you? Are you choosing to follow or choosing to fight it? 

God bless you.

Health Tips

Do you want to lose weight or at least stay in shape? Have you tried eating healthy to do just that? Do you know what eating healthy really means?

So many people try this diet or that diet. They stick with it for a while, maybe lose weight, and then they go back to their old ways. Many of those diets don't really even involve eating healthy. 

In my opinion, it's not about calories, sometimes not even about what type of food you eat (ie. salad vs. a burger). It's about the make up of that food. 

As society we are deceived into this notion of what healthy is, what healthy food is. If you eat a salad from McDonald's is it really healthy? My opinion- no. Why do I think that...

GMO food, that means genetically modified, which in return means it's not exactly food- not natural as God made it at least. It is composed of chemicals, preservatives, antibiotics, hormones... fake garbage that is not healthy for us to be ingesting. I've read a few articles that eating this way can be linked to auto immune diseases and cancer. I absolutely believe that. 

Our bodies were created by God. Food was created by God. Then we humans go and change everything, attempting to make it better when we're really just making it worse... on ourselves and on those generations that will follow. If we want to take steps towards being healthy, eating healthy, we must understand what that means, start doing it, and stick to it.

So for starters- this is what I think and this is what I follow- and in doing so I've been able to manage my symptoms. I have about 29 years of unhealthy eating behind me- that's not going to be erased overnight; I'm still struggling. However, I notice an absolute difference and decline when I start going back to my old ways. 

Eat organic as much as possible. Eating organic lessens the possibility of pesticides, hormones, antibiotics, all that bad stuff being in your food. In regards to meat, eat hormone/antibiotic free. Eat as much non-GMO food as possible. Some stores are making that easier now, labeling those things. 

Next step- cut out dairy especially cheese and milk. So many people have sensitivities to dairy they don't even realize it until they cut it out. I can no longer tolerate it unless it's a tiny amount used as an ingredient in another food. If you must have dairy, look again for the antibiotic and hormone free.

Cut out gluten- perhaps grains all together. When you do this you will probably notice the pounds shedding without even trying to do anything else. If you must eat this, again look for non-GMO.

Cut out sugar- gosh sugar is sooo bad for you! And society consumes SO much sugar it's insane! The number of bad things sugar can do to you would take up way too much time to explain in one blog. All I know is I wasn't a sugar-hound but what I did eat badly contributed to at least one of the health problems I have today which is nearly impossible to control. And don't go replacing it with sugar substitutes, those are definitely no good either. Try using organic agave syrup, honey or stevia. 

So basically what you are doing here is going paleo. Look up paleo recipes and try them before you decide that won't work for you. You will most likely crave these things like crazy once you first give them up, but after a week or two you won't crave them much anymore. If you really stick to it, after a month or two you may even be disgusted by the thought of eating what you used to. Your body will truly want all those healthy veggies, fruits and antibiotic/hormone free meats. That's what happened to me. I think if we all try doing this, those that run the food industry will have to change. Companies that use GMO might start losing business and be forced into going non-GMO. How amazing would that be!?

Yes unfortunately an organic banana will cost more than a regular one, antibiotic/hormone free meat will cost more than not. It can be expensive. But you are investing in your future. Start eating this way and stop needing to go to the doctor so much. Start eating this way and possibly save yourself from an incurable costly disease in the future. Stop putting your money towards lattes and large sodas and start putting it towards your health.

You won't see results over night, but I bet if you stick to it you will start seeing results in a few months or so. You may notice you have more energy, you're more alert, you have less aches and pains, and if you have a chronic illness like I do, maybe it improves- maybe it improves drastically! Most of all, you are in fact eating healthy to take steps towards being healthy; you're setting yourself up for a better future.

I challenge you this week- make one change- maybe cutting out sugar for just one day, or omitting dairy or gluten all together. Just do something. Take that step.

If you are Christian, think about it this way. If Jesus was walking around on this earth and He was coming to YOUR house for dinner, what would you serve Him? I bet you would want to serve a delicious, healthy feast... not McDonald's or Taco Bell. Well, 1 Corinthians 6:19 says our bodies are temples. These bodies are loaned to us, we will not leave the world with them. We should take care of the bodies we are given. If you wouldn't serve something to Jesus, don't serve it to yourself. 

God bless!