Much overdue update

Thought I'd give an update for anyone who follows my journey through this.

Last I posted in regards to my health about a month and a half ago, I had just started the reintroduction phase of the elimination diet I'm on. I had also recently started a new herbal protocol instead of antibiotics for my Lyme Disease. One or both of those changes caused me to decline. Since then a lot has happened.

I'm at 83 days of eating only organic, non-gmo, antibiotic/hormone free. 83 days of not eating outside of home even once. 83 days of pretty much meats, veggies, healthy fats, and a bit of fruit.

I told myself I'd be extremely strict through at least 90 days. Just so happens day 90 is my day of travel in which it will be harder to eat so strict. I'm still going to stick to it as much as possible but I'm no longer going to pass up on a social opportunity in order to stick to my diet.

So what I've discovered after the 1 month of completely eliminating and 2 months of reintroducing foods is my body reacts to almost everything in different ways. Since I obviously can't live off of nothing, it's decided what is best for me for now is still all organic, non-gmo, antibiotic/hormone free- meats, veggies, healthy fates and a bit of fruit... but I can add to that a couple types of beans and a couple types of nuts. What I am to continue to not have due to worse reactions are nightshade veggies (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant), lime (I had no idea that bothered me until doing this!), dairy, corn, oats, some beans, some nuts. Gluten was an absolute no and not even a reintroduction.

I have to re-re-introduce some things again to figure out if I can tolerate them or not. That's because with my ongoing symptoms it's hard to determine what was food affecting me and what was lyme/MG/etc. Those foods I reintroduced but have to again are peanuts, soy, other gluten free grains, other legumes and pork.

Through this I discovered one more thing, bigger than all this other stuff. You see, I've had this huge bubble like thing in my stomach for probably years now. No doctor can tell me what it is or what to do about it, nor has anyone ordered any testing on it. It's like a bunch of sloshing water that doesn't go anywhere except staying in my stomach. Sometimes it's worse, other times it's better. Other people can hear it. A lot of times it affects my breathing by putting pressure on my diaphragm, that was the worst part. During this diet, it got worse. Well I finally decided google was in order, and my doctor agrees I seem to have figured it out...

Fructose intolerance! Who knew such a thing even existed? What this means is my body cannot tolerate/digest fructose properly. So as I was going through this diet, due to such restrictions, I was eating more fruit than normal, that means more fructose. I was also eating more avocado and broccoli than normal, more fructose. I had no idea how fructose is in so many things naturally. So now in addition to this very limited diet, it is becoming more limited as I have to very much watch my fructose. I have a list of foods that are high in fructose, and those are the foods I need to avoid. I've already seen the benefit, but it's hard because I feel like I'm lacking nutrients. Back to taking a multi-vitamin on top of everything else.

I'm not trying to lose weight but I'm down 9 lbs from when I started... and I was already eating healthy before that, this just took it up a notch! People may think I'm getting too thin but the thing is this is probably what normal is if everyone ate this way. And hey if you are looking to lose weight, skip all the fad diets, and stick to this! Aside from a cold or something I have going on now, I was starting to improve a little bit. My doctor thinks the longer I keep with this the greater benefits I will see.

And so I conclude...

You see, none of us should be eating the garbage mistakenly called food, pretty much anything in a box or from a restaurant. The benefit to not eating that stuff, not eating anything GMO (genetically modified) is that it will help your health in the long run, maybe even immediate if you make a drastic change. It will be harder at first as it was for me, as your body adapts, but it's worth toughing it out. Regular chicken, beef, etc. most of the time was treated with hormones and antibiotics. That means we are ingesting that. Too many antibiotics is what leads to resistance and then you can't treat a serious illness. Too many antibiotics also leads to yeast overgrowth/candida which can ultimately harm every and any organ or system in your body. Ingesting additional hormones will mess with our own hormones. Ingesting non-organic means that stuff was sprayed with pesticides and who knows what other toxic chemicals. These chemicals are harmful to your health and can cause serious illnesses over time. Ingesting gmo foods means that "food" was genetically modified/processed, you aren't even eating food anymore. All of this adds up and contributes to a wide range of illnesses, obesity, mental health and a weakened immune system that won't be able to fight as well if something bad does hit.

One thing that REALLY bugs me is this. This is a "fix-it" society. Why not prevent it before it starts?? YOU have the power to do so. Eating truly healthier in the ways described will help you take care of the one and only body you were given. Giving up those sweets, snacks, hot chocolate, soda, candy, fast food, etc. is investing in your health and probably giving you more years of life. It will almost certainly help you from getting sick as often or as serious. I wish I knew all this before I got sick. But now instead I have to try to reverse it by doing this after the fact. If you aren't yet sick, do it now!

And if I don't write again before then, Merry Christmas!! God bless and eat healthy!

Originally Posted: Happiness

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: September 24, 2013
Happiness?

I'm so happy. I didn't come here to be happy, in fact I thought I'd be everything but. I thought I'd be miserable. Furthermore, I was in no way looking for happiness, searching for it, trying for it, not even really thinking about it. Happiness- it's an emotion- it's fleeting. But, I'm happy.

Why am I happy? I'm happy because of Jesus. I have Jesus. I found Jesus. I devote my attention on Him and he blesses me with such goodness. I'm going through the absolute toughest times in my life with everything that many of you don't even know the start of because I can't talk about it on here. But in the toughest time I feel the most comfort, the most peace, the most relief, the most happiness. And it has absolutely nothing to do with or without anybody or anything else. It is completely irrelevant to any external matters.

Happiness isn't about how many "things" you have, how much money you have, what job you have or if you even have a job, not even about your family and friends. Any single one of these things can be gone in an instant. If your happiness was based on that person or that thing, and it leaves, then what? You are left without happiness.

Happiness, as in true joy, it is from within. When you repent your sins and turn to Jesus and make Him your Lord and Savior, following Him always in the mist of all you go through, the Holy Spirit lives within you. It's in the inside! This means no matter what you encounter in life, you always have that peace, comfort and joy from within. You can turn off all that is external and turn inward.

You can blame unhappiness on another, void things and people from your life thinking it'll take care of the problem, entirely up and change everything about yourself, but it all doesn't matter if you don't truly have Jesus. Without Him, happiness- it's fleeting. It'll come, it'll go, it won't last and it won't be the true and lifetime joy you can experience with Jesus in your heart.

I do not fear my circumstances when I focus my heart and mind on Jesus. I know what lies ahead for me after my short time on this planet. I know where I'm going because I know I am saved. I said Yes to Jesus and He said Yes to me! It's a love like never before. I just want everyone to experience and feel that love. Love and be loved. Really, that's all it comes down to.

"The Second is this 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no command greater than these." Mark 12:31

Here's a challenge for all of you that leads kind of into a new topic I will talk about at a later time... Do you listen to Christian music? K-love radio station for example? If not, try to. Try to for 30 days. K-love gives this exact challenge for their station. Listen for 30 days and see if/how it blesses you. Being a Christian means putting Jesus first. Are you doing that? Are you doing that in every aspect of your life? Start right here by one simple change. I hope it blesses you immensely and brings you into a transformation you couldn't even imagine, that you ultimately then find your happiness also. http://www.klove.com/


But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” 1 Peter 3:14

Originally Posted: Salvation Debate

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: September 13, 2013
Salvation Debate

So for some time now, God's been telling me to write on a certain topic. As you can see, I haven't written on this blog in quite some time. The main reason was I was unsure what to write. I don't know why I'm doubting. If God says "write" I'm sure once I start typing He will give me the words to send out. This is also a topic of controversy, but that shouldn't matter, since ultimately if I'm doing what God wants that's what matters.

Today a friend asked me something that had to do with Catholicism. This got me rattling off to her all about something which I later realized was the exact topic God told me to write about. God was definitely using my friend as a means to get through to me. It worked. So, here it goes...

Within Christianity, there are many denominations. Some Protestant Christians believe Catholicism isn't a Christian denomination. What I feel God wants me to do here is briefly describe some of the differences so that those reading can take that and go find out for themselves.

One major topic which I feel is the one God wants me to touch on is that of salvation- I mean that is pretty much the most important topic right? Our life here on Earth is extremely short compared to that which we cannot even fathom, that of eternity- are we going to spend it in Heaven?

Catholicism believes that you have to get baptized- preferably as a baby (and receive the other sacraments), have faith/trust in Jesus, and you must do good works all in order to be saved. Christianity outside of Catholicism believes in salvation by grace through faith alone.

So does salvation come through good works or through faith alone? The major conflict here is that one says you HAVE to do something in order to be saved. The other says that salvation is through faith alone. Are you going to get into Heaven without doing good works? I don't think you are. BUT I don't think that's the question to answer here. Why? Because of this... If you are saved by faith alone, ultimately you will be transformed into wanting to do good. So the result here is that both groups are striving to do good.

Still that doesn't answer it. But I'm not going to answer it. I'm not God. My advice is to search for your own answer. However, I must say, keep this in mind. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. For OUR sins. We were forgiven right there... for all the wrong that we would do in the future. We are human, we are sinners. We needed a Savior, Jesus Christ. A Savior. Dissect that thought right there.

I think that's all He wants me to write for now. I hope this makes someone out there, preferably many someones, want to go search for the answers themselves. Research your religion. Read the Bible. Find your answers in the Bible. Is what you've been taught found in the Bible? Does it need to be found in the Bible? If it's not, who taught it and what does that mean in regards to what you believe in? Do you have a religion or do you have a relationship with Jesus? Is Jesus in your heart?

God bless you.

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. -James 2:14-17

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. -Ephesians 2:8-9

Originally Posted: The Time is Now

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: August 26, 2013
The Time is Now

In noticing that my views (how many people read my blog) on this blog are much less than my views on my other/health blog, I came to ponder the thought, why is it that so many don't want a God-centered life? Why is it that so many run from anything having to do with God? Why is God avoided?

In few discussions, much reading, and much thought on this, I've come across various reasons... "not ready", "don't want to", "God will limit me", wanting control and fearing the loss of that by giving your life to God, not believing, thinking you can do it on your own, thinking there is a better "way", thinking God is only for people who need help with something, believing evolution over God, not caring... etc. etc.

What have you got to lose by giving yourself to God? Really. Please answer that in your own thoughts. What have you got to lose?

Thinking you can do it on your own? You can do all things... through Christ who strengthens you. You must give of yourself to receive Him. God created this world, this entire world and everything within it. Don't you want someone like that on your side? If God is for us, who can be against us.

Thinking God is only for people who need help with something? Everyone needs help with something at some time. God is our strength. But in addition, we shouldn't "turn to God" in times of need. We should instead be putting God first at ALL times. We should be thanking Him continually for the gifts He has given us. We should be thanking Him through our struggles and especially after He brings us through them. God is love. And love makes the world go around doesn't it? Too many look at love as a feeling when instead it is an action. Go deliver it. God is for everyone.

Maybe you don't believe because in the past it hasn't "worked out" for you. Guess what? It hasn't "worked out" for anyone 100% of the time. If you give up now you might be giving up literally right before your blessing arrives. It is God's time remember, and God's plan. We must have faith and follow Him and trust in Him that His plan is coming together for the best. Nothing will make perfect sense because God is the only one who can see it all, the past the present and the future and how it all comes together. Trust in Him.

Don't know how? Just start talking. Talk to God like you would a friend or family member- your closest one. If you really think He doesn't exist or you think He doesn't care, then really what have you got to lose here? And if you do believe in Him but are scared, don't be. Just talk. Tell Him what is on your mind. Tell Him your concerns. Tell Him you struggle with your faith and belief. Ask Him for guidance. Ask Him to come into your life. Make Him your God, your Lord, your Savior. Tell Him you love Him and give yourself to Him. And then listen. Always have your ears and heart open to hear Him. Follow Him. The Holy Spirit will lead you.

It's sad that society today is not only quiet about God but actually trying to rid Him from our lives... taking away prayer in schools, telling churches and organizations they have to cover certain healthcare that go against their beliefs... ok I'm not going to get into a political discussion here. But it's really sad how people are trying to remove God from life when LIFE is FROM GOD. People can try and try and try but God is and was and always will be bigger than anyone and anything. God will overcome evil. However, we as Christians must stand together and continue to stand together and stand up for our beliefs. We must stand up for Jesus...we must stand up for truth... Jesus is the way, the truth, the life. He got nailed to a cross for US. The least we could do is stand up for Him. Talk about Him. Witness to others. Lead others to know Christ.

Maybe you fear that you've already done too much wrong, sinned too bad. Guess what? God is the ONLY one who can save you from that sin. We are ALL sinners. Every single one of us. Don't compare yourself to another. Just strive to live like Jesus. Repent of your sins, ask God for forgiveness, welcome Jesus into your heart, and then follow Him. Jesus got nailed to the cross. Jesus took the punishment of our sins for us! We are forgiven! Here's the thing, even if you don't repent of your sins and don't choose God, God already knows everything! He knows what you are hiding, He knows the truth to what you are lying about, He knows your sins, He knows your heart. God already knows. So you aren't hiding anything by "keeping it from Him." So it's best we choose the ONLY way to Heaven, Jesus.

We're not going to be judged on the clothing we wear, the makeup we own, how many shoes we have, what type of car we drive, how many promotions at work we got... let go of worldly things. Change your focus to that of Christ. Have a Christ-centered, God-centered life. Put God first and He will bless you with the desires of your heart. Or don't put Him first and risk that your judgement day will come sooner than expected and it will be too late to have a change of heart. We never know when our time will come. So the time to choose God is now.


If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

Originally Posted: Healed

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: August 11, 2013
Healed

So this post is half for my other blog, half for this blog, but I have a feeling I need to post it here so that is what I am doing. I've been told to write this I think since yesterday. I put it off and said I would do it today. Then today rolled around and I'm worn out so I was thinking it's ok to do tomorrow. But then, I read a passage someone wrote to me, the same one I just talked on in my other blog. I took that as my cue to get on writing. I am including a link to my most recent post from my other blog here in case you want to read.

http://fightmg.blogspot.com/2013/08/medication-inclination.html

Anyways, I'm starting this new heart medication tomorrow. Yes, I'm a bit nervous considering my history of reaction to meds and its potential specifically in regards to MG. But I'm trying my best to give it up to God and trust completely 100% in Him.

So what I've been told to write on, and when I say told I am almost always referring to the voice of God I hear in my head... what I've been told to write on is... that I am healed.

I am healed. This is a bold statement to make. But I believe it, or I'm trying my best to believe it. Your thoughts lead to your future. God wants you to be positive. How can you have faith in Him if you talk negatively and expect the worst? God is able, in every sense of the way. God wants me healed. God will heal me. God has healed me. He knows my past, present and future. I want to be healed by God, not by medication. I will always praise Him for all things good in life.

So what are all these symptoms? Hey, maybe they take time to go away? All I know is I need to believe I am healed in order to be on the road to recovery. Full recovery. If God can take someone who had cancer and make that cancer disappear as some have reported... If God can take someone who is paralyzed and make them walk as some have reported... If God can create this entire world we live in... God can certainly heal me. And He will.

God wants you to dream big. He doesn't want you to ask for just the little things or think it's never going to happen. What message does that put out to him? That says I can't trust or don't trust that you will do this. We can't send that message. We need to send the message that we DO trust Him 100% and we know, we KNOW he wants the best for us. But at the same time we must ALWAYS send that glory up to Him, praise and thank Him, give Him the credit, not take it for ourselves.

Some can't turn their life to God because they think they will be giving it up, can't do it "their way." Well if only we all had the knowledge that we would want it the same that God wants it if we are gifted with the Holy Spirit and living in the Spirit. We want the best for us. He wants the best for us. The difference is, He KNOWS what's best for us. So let's give it up to Him and trust that He WILL take care of us. Always.

Back to that passage... He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

Lord, please Grant me faith the size of a mustard seed, and through that faith allow me to experience your healing in body and soul. Heal all areas of my life and the lives of my loved ones. Lord, please grant us all the trust to put You first, and glorify You in all good things we do. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Originally Posted: Random Act of Love

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: August 4, 2013
Random Act of Love

When I was in the hospital for surgery I decided to do something. I read something that was inspiring. So I took it and taped it on a random page on the daily calendar hanging in the hospital room. My thought was that God would place a specific person in that room on that day who needed to read that message. I wanted to provide some encouragement to them, because I know how tough being in the hospital and being sick can be. This led me to want to do more.

I had three separate hospital stays even though it was just a couple days in between each one from March-April. Each time I requested that the Chaplain visit me and each time without request the Chaplain brought me a Bible. Two were the same, one was different. I didn't need two of the same Bibles, so I took one and placed it in a drawer of the night stand in the room and added a note on top of it. Again, my hope is that God leads the right person to pick that up and that it brings joy to their day.

Then when I was staying in the hotel with my parents for a wedding, I again wrote a small note of encouragement and left it hidden. Maybe housekeeping will find it, maybe a guest will find it... but I know again it will be the person God leads to be inspired by those words.

I decided I wanted to keep doing this. I will never know who picks it up, if and how it affects them. But knowing that I could possibly lead someone to Jesus is all I need to keep me wanting to do this. Since I physically can't do nearly what I would like to, this is my very tiny way of doing a simple random act of kindness... better yet, random act of love. God's love. I've recently started a few other things too but I'll speak of those at a later time.

So today, I was reading a book from the library. As I flipped the pages guess what I found? A note from someone!!! The person says they are praying for whoever reads this, that this book may bless that person and inspire them to devote their life to God. Signed- Sister in Christ. Amazing!


Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back. Luke 6:38

Originally Posted: What's Your Choice?

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: July 15, 2013
What's Your Choice?

We are given our own free will. So we are allowed to choose the bad, the wrong, the evil, the devil. God doesn't want us to choose that route, but He will allow it so not to impose on the free will He has given us.

Why do people choose what is wrong, bad, evil, of the devil?

I used to think that of the devil could only mean severe things such as killing, robbery, etc. I never related it to everyday evils we barely notice because they are much too common... lying, pride, jealousy, talking poorly about others. Now I clearly know that to be Christian means ridding myself of those evils, striving to do so as much as possible, living in a way that is a reflection of Jesus.

People don't realize how much the devil is present in this world, in our lives. He is CONSTANTLY trying to pull us away from God, from doing what is right, what is good, what is true. He is constantly deceiving us into thinking the wrong way is the right way. He deceives us through every possible medium out there- the media, strangers, friends and even family. The devil can and will use anything and anyone to get to you with gossip, jealousy, lying, anger, division within families. He can talk you into anything... make you believe that you are doing right, doing well. It's all a bunch of lies.

How can we discern then what is of Christ and what is of the devil? Open your Bible. Read it. Study it. Discuss it with other Christians. The Bible tells us everything we need to know. So, if you are trying to discern what is of Christ- is it biblical? If so, it is most likely of Christ. If you can't find it in the Bible to back it up, consider the devil is trying to deceive you and bring you down to a place you don't ever want to go. The Bible isn't something where you can pick and choose how you please. Why? Because in following Jesus you must follow him completely, because if you pick and choose then you really aren't following him at all. You can't carry only half the cross and claim it as your ticket to Heaven.

So again why do we choose evil? For the pleasure, excitement, experience, etc. that we are deceived into thinking is worth it. Maybe we feel we want to experience ALL of life- the good and the bad. But consider this- there are enough struggles out there without creating your own. You will encounter both good and bad without making a choice of it. We are still experiencing all that is life... but while doing so we are making the choices to remain faithful and righteous. We are not missing out on anything but instead actually making the most of everything.

Maybe you just feel you can't give your life to Christ because you'd be giving up your own free will, that choice. But think about it this way. You ARE making a choice right now if you aren't choosing Christ. If you are choosing evil, or anything other than good, truth and Jesus, you are in fact choosing the devil. You are CHOOSING the devil. So if you fear that you will "submit your life to Christ" and give up all freedom, look at it in the other sense that right now you are submitting your life to the devil and giving up all freedom. It's one or the other. If you aren't giving your life to Christ you are allowing the devil control over you.

Our life here on earth is nothing but a split second compared to all eternity in Heaven or hell. We cannot do whatever we please, knowingly doing wrong, and then at the end say "Oh I'm sorry God, forgive me and take me to Heaven now." I don't think so. Once we know right from wrong, we MUST live righteously. And then if we make a MISTAKE, we repent and strive our very hardest never to repeat it.

Anyone who has gotten through some tough times, anyone who has witnessed or lived a miracle... what came before that? The struggle. How would there ever be miracles if there weren't struggles? Thus we must go through trials of sorts, strengthening of our faith, obstacles and overcoming evil, to get to the other side. For without the struggle, what kind of testimony would we have to receive the blessing? We need for the goal of the other side to still be with Jesus, with Him all along and in the end. We need the goal we are aiming for to be biblical. For if we remain faithful to Him no matter WHAT no matter how tough it gets, and we continue to praise Him and thank Him and trust in Him, we will get through it. Make it your goal not to live in evil but to OVERCOME evil.

When you read the Bible and make the decision to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, repent your sins, ask for forgiveness and follow Him. Then start living in the spirit rather than the flesh. You have a choice. Which do you choose? Heaven or Hell?


And they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
2 Timothy 2:26

Originally Posted: Judgement

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: July 14, 2013
Judgement

Why is it that no matter what I say or how I say it, there are always people who twist my words like it's their job? Who go searching to pull out anything negative they can find in it. Who then take it and gossip to others about it. When all along what they are saying is not at all what I intended for it to mean. You can only try so much. You can't control another human being. And at the end, the only judgement that matters is that of God.

Does that mean we should not show any judgement? I would be wrong in stating what I just stated above if so since it appears to be of judgement. We should let people do whatever the heck they want? I don't believe so.

The Bible warns us to beware of evildoers. How are we to discern that? We need to know what the Bible states, how God wants us to live, and we need to strive to live in that way and stay away from evil.

We are to know the truth, live the truth and bring others to the truth. It is our responsibility as Christians to look out for and fellowship with other Christians. It is our responsibility to help them stay focused on God and that includes bringing sin to attention with a biblical resolution. We are not to judge with harsh criticism or self gain but with love and respect for one another, to help one another.

So are we or aren't we to judge is a difficult question to answer for it is both a yes and a no. Instead of a one word answer, our focus should be on if we are living how God wants us to live, in harmony with Him and with what the Bible says. And if that is what we are striving to do then the Christian life we are living. If not, well God will be the judge.



Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 
2 Timothy 4:2

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
Galatians 5:19-21

Originally Posted: God Encounters

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: July 10, 2013
God Encounters

Just wanted to share a few "God encounters" lately.

The first one I'll start with is a little while back. Every morning I go downstairs, eat breakfast, get my coffee... sometimes I walk into the living/dining room for various reasons. That morning I went to turn the temperature up. I heard that voice tell me go look out the window. (There is a big window in the living room/front room). So I walked over there and looked up. The exact spot I looked up there was a cross in the sky. You know some planes leave those white lines in the sky on a clear day well it looked like that is what it was- but two of them in the form of a cross. You could say coincidence but I don't believe in coincidence I believe in God and He was telling me He is watching over me.

The second one was a few days back. I was sitting outside reading. I looked up and saw a white butterfly flying along the bottom of the fence. The entire length of the fence it stayed at the very bottom. When it neared the end where it would be out of my sight I said to myself "God if it's going to work out (God knows what I'm referring to) have the butterfly fly above the fence." I don't even know why I said such a thing and seeing as it was at the bottom the whole time and clearly making its way from one side to the other soon to be out of sight there was no reason I should believe that it would happen. But just as it passed out of sight it flew right back, flew up past the top of the fence, and then flew away and I didn't see it again. Thank you God!

The third one was just a couple days ago. Again I was sitting outside reading, same chair, same spot. I looked up to the sky filled with dark clouds and said to myself "God are you there?" I was hoping for one of those "looks like Jesus" clouds or something I guess. But instead at that moment it seemed like fast motion the dark clouds quickly passed and there showed the moon. I thought to myself, hmm I don't know if that means anything, and as I did more dark clouds were coming but instead of covering up the moon like it would look as they should they parted and made this path that I was always able to see the moon through. There was no way this was anything other than a God thing. But it gets better. I then continued reading and shortly after felt the voice telling me ok it's time to go in but before you do, look up. Heat makes my MG worse so it made sense to listen to go in but I didn't know about the look up part. But of course I listened. I closed my book, stood up and looked up... and just as I did the dark cloud opened up again and the moon showed through and at that same moment a voice inside said "Even when you can't see me, I'm still here." God, you are amazing!

And now the last one, for now. This has been happening more and more often but most recently happened yesterday. Sometimes when I'm sitting in the car as a passenger, I'll ask God if it's going to work, or to show me it's going to work, or to show me what the future holds etc. And then I'm told to look at the license plate of a specific car and it will start with an "H" and then I'm told to look at the license plate of a different specific car and it will start with an "L". If you don't know, those are my current initials. But it doesn't stop there... for the next couple minutes I will see more H's and L's then ever before. It is crazy. Just crazy. I'm not on the search for only those letters, I'm told to look at specific cars and that's when I see the letters. Crazy. I don't know exactly what it means but I do know that God is definitely with me.

God is ALWAYS with us. Sometimes we just have to close our eyes to see, turn everything off to hear, and open our hearts to receive His presents... I spelled that wrong for a reason. God's love is a gift. Cherish it. Thank you Jesus!

Originally Posted: Repentance

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: June 26, 2013
Repentance 

Repentance. What does this mean? We're all told to repent and be forgiven, but do we understand what we must do?  In the Christian definition, it is to turn away from sin.

To repent you should first recognize that which you did wrong and admit it, own up to it. More so, you should self reflect on how this hurt another including God, how it made them feel by the action you did wrong. You should truly feel sorrow and regret for that which you are sorry for. Otherwise saying sorry is simply put, a lie.You should apologize to the other and to God, and ask for forgiveness. But it's not just saying sorry, it's having actions to defend your words. That involves a pivot 180 degree turn and walking in the opposite direction, no longer doing that which is wrong but doing that which is right. You are making a deliberate choice to say no to evil, no to the devil, no to the sin, and yes to Jesus- the way, the truth, the life.

In doing that you are on your way to accepting Jesus if you haven't already. You are admitting that in being human and imperfect, you are a sinner. You are admitting the sins you have committed and asking for forgiveness for them. You are choosing then to walk in the way of Jesus. In that you then must commit to Him, believe in Him, and invite Him into your life.

This doesn't mean, hey God make my life better now I believe in you. Think about it- put into a form we can understand, if we have 10 people interviewing for a job and 9 of them who showed they worked hard and were good employees and then 1 who just showed up for the pay check, would we even consider that 1? Probably not. Sadly, I think the world today is more like 9 who do nothing and 1 who does something, and even that something is probably far less than it could be. If you want God in your life- you should absolutely show Him you mean it, that you are serious about following Him and living for Him. Read your Bible, if you don't have one go get one. There are actually plenty you can request online for free so money can be of no excuse. Pray. Praying can be as simple as having a conversation with God like you do with a friend. Surround yourself with believers and join a church and church groups to educate yourself on Jesus and what it means to be a Christian.

Note these good works will not save us. But after salvation- by grace through faith, we should want to do these things, we should be transformed as long as we keep ourselves focused on Him.

So next time you say you're sorry, do you really mean it? Did you do all of that which is involved for repentance? Furthermore, what is floating out there in your life that you have yet to repent? Why not make today the day that you settle that matter? Why not make today the day you welcome Jesus into your life if you haven't already? It's not too late no matter how far off track you strayed. It's not too late no matter how much you did wrong. God would LOVE for you to own up to those sins and turn your life over to Him to a life of love and joy.

Sin is of the devil and the devil is full of lies. What appears enticing is nothing more than a trap to get you far off down the wrong path. What seems easy will only be much harder in the long run. What may bring a moment of joy is nothing more than false fulfillment that ends in regret. True joy only comes from Jesus. Don't let the devil win. Jesus is the way, the TRUTH, the life. And the truth will set you free.

The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. 1 John 3:8

From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” Matthew 4:17

Originally Posted: Love

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: June 21, 2013
Love

When you think of the word love what comes to mind? Probably your significant other, maybe other family, maybe friends... then your mind drifts to flowers, chocolate, teddy bears and cuddling? What that describes is not the truest of true love. There are multiple types of love but I'm going to talk about one, the highest, most important one.

True love comes from God for "God is love." This type of love is Agape love. It is a selfless, sacrificial, unconditional type of love. It is the highest form of love you can have. I believe in order to have this love, God needs to be a part of your life, for again, God is love. Without God, how can you have a sacrificial love? God shows this love to us constantly, because no matter what, He will love us, He will forgive us, He will carry us through.  And that, is how we are supposed to act towards another. Turn to God and strive to live as Jesus lived.

I believe this to be a verb rather than a noun. You are giving the gift of oneself to another no matter what, not dependent on how the other treats you, not dependent on your feelings, not dependent on any outside circumstance, argument, anything. True, unconditional love never fails. Never. You are making the choice to love.

So what if God is not the center of your life, or even a part of your life? Can you have this type of love? I have to believe not. If you say you are "in love" you are most likely referring to the romantic, physical type of love. If you say you love a person, you are probably referring to a friendship or brotherly type of love. But without God there will not be Agape love, and without God, something will always be missing... and you might not even know it until it happens. And if you think about it, if you lack the unconditional part of love what is the foundation? Feelings are fleeting and that foundation perhaps without agape love may crumble. You can tell someone "always and forever" but that forever is the part is one only God can bring. What you really should say then is "until I decide otherwise."

What I'm getting at is if you want true love, accept God, accept Jesus, into your life. It's never too late. The door  is open and He wants to invite you in. He wants to transform your life. He wants to make it better. He wants to forgive you. He wants to love you and send forth His love through you to others. What if He treated you the way you treat Him... and thus forgot about you, ignored you, hurt you, rejected you, yelled at you, pretended you didn't exist? Ouch. That would be one rough life. Life is rough enough as it is. But instead He loves you unconditionally. Love Him unconditionally, and in return you can strive to love others unconditionally. 


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8

When life is just too much to handle

This post is a little different. I'm including a post I wrote back on June 15, 2013. Please take the time to read it and then read what I have to say after. God bless.

Originally Posted: June 15, 2013
Prayer or something like that

I'm really struggling right now. I don't want to use the word hate, but I really dislike the situation I'm in. It's like a battle- do what I know is right and give up my own desires, or do what I know is wrong for my own selfish desire. I know the answer and I know I'm going to stick to doing what is right. But this patience is really really running low. I've struggled for so long, I've been pushed down too many times and sometimes I just feel like staying down there. I get back up and I keep going but where am I going? Am I even moving forward, or backward, or even to the side? It seems like I'm just walking in place. I want to move!!! Get me to another place! I'm not just talking physically.

I know exactly what I would wish to happen, where I want to be and what I want to be doing and with whom... and it all falls within the grounds of doing what is right. That is where both doing what is right and personal desires would fall together. But all I can control is myself.

Even then I can only do so within the physical limitations I'm given. I feel like I'm in jail but the jail cell is my body.

Lord grant me freedom and not in the way everyone will interpret that word. Grant me freedom from the confinements of disability, grant me freedom from the questions that go unanswered, grant me freedom from anyone and anything holding back YOUR will. Let Your will be done Lord, and settle my heart to discern what that is. Settle the hearts of everyone else who is part of my path. I need peace, I really really need peace... and clarity, resolution, healing and YOUR unconditional unfailing love. Let Your love flow through me to others and through others to me. Help!

I much dislike constantly hear people "bicker" about pointless things, hearing people putting each other down, hearing people gossip, hearing people complain about things that really don't matter, hearing people bash one another, hearing HURT. I wish I could transform their hearts to love and serve You and become better people. But, only You have the power to do that and waiting for that to happen, if it happens, is so very hard. Living righteously in a cruel world is really hard. Not because I want to do what is wrong, but because I want everyone to do what is right. Help!

I very much dislike the situation I'm in, but I'm stuck. I'm trying to make the best of what I can while I'm in it... but it's like I'm on a treadmill and getting exhausted while going no where. Show me where You want me and take me there. Soon, please. Very please.

Amen.

Wow. I look back at that and see my heart crying out for Jesus in the midst of separation from my husband at the time. He hurt me, so very badly. He ripped life as I knew it out from beneath me and started a life with another woman. Ouch. On top of it, I was fighting for my own life at times. At the moment of writing this, I was less than 2 months out from surviving a pulmonary embolism, less than 3 months out from a major surgery in my chest... all the while he was 1000 miles away and could care less if I lived or died. How do you survive that? I didn't. But I'll get to that point in a minute...

I re-read what I wrote above and realize that sometimes prayers we think are unanswered truly are answered, just in a different way. We have to admit that when we pray, we typically have an agenda on mind. We may ask His will but how many times when we pray that prayer do we truly mean it? Should be always but if we are being honest with ourselves, many of the times it is "God please bless MY plans" as opposed to "God please help me accept and walk in YOUR plans". God knows better than we do. That prayer above was answered.

6 months after that post, I received divorce papers. 6 months following the divorce papers, the divorce was final. Somewhere in there, I was finally able to forgive. That forgiveness was the freedom I was praying for, even though I didn't know it at the time. That forgiveness wasn't for him, it was for me, to free me from the chains of the past and let go. I prayed for the hearts of others. The thing is God gives us all free will. The people I was praying for had hardened hearts and God isn't going to force them into anything. So instead of making those people into who I felt they needed to be, God removed them from my life. Again, He freed me. He freed me! He answered my prayer!

I look back at all of that and remember where I was back then, what I was feeling, what I was going through. Though I appear to be right where I was back then, I'm actually in a much better place. I realized how much of myself I had vested in one person. Part of that is right but so much of that is wrong. I wasn't a Christian when I got married. I didn't understand what I do now. God must come first in your life. God MUST be your center and focus. After that is spouse and then so on and so forth. Well, I wrongly placed spouse first. And so when spouse kicked me to the curb, I had no idea what to do. Like I said in the beginning, I did not survive it.

He did. He, meaning Jesus, meaning God. He survived it, through me. 1 year prior to writing what's above, literally only days after my ex-husband came home from a vacation with friends and told me he no longer loved me, Jesus saved me and I gave my life to Him. Thankfully Jesus saved me in God's perfect timing and walked with me through the rough roads ahead. He has been and is my strength, my refuge and my Savior. He is the way, the truth and the life. He is the vine and I am a branch and apart from Him I can do nothing. Nothing. Over time I've been transformed and blessed with wisdom and knowledge of the truth and the resources to strive to live it.

Sometimes you feel like you're running on a treadmill in life, going no where, maybe you even feel life is just not worth it. The thing is there is so much more to life than you can visibly see in your world. Through Jesus Christ, there is eternal life, and that is what I live for. That is what we can all live for. And living with Him can start now. I invite you to take the first step in making Jesus the Lord of your life. Confess that like no one, you are not perfect and you have sinned. Confess that because of those sins you need a Savior, a Savior who only comes through Jesus Christ who suffered, died, was buried and rose again for us to be here. Invite Him to personally be the Lord and Savior in your life, and then walk with Him, be in relationship with Him. Pick up a bible and begin reading, perhaps start in the New Testament, maybe the Gospel of John. Read, pray, reach out to other Christians, seek guidance, but most importantly, seek Jesus. He can and will get you through this, just like He did for me.

Originally Posted: Better or Best

***When I came back to Chicago nearly 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: June 11, 2013
Better or Best

It has become more and more apparent to me how others talk to and treat another. It's astonishing actually. But in noticing others, it is a must that we examine ourselves. By changing ourselves, improving the way we talk and act, we will in return outwardly exist to better the lives of others. Ripple effect, or so that is the hope.

Why do we point the finger? Why are we SO quick to pass judgement on another, to blame another, to compete and be better than another? Why do we together discuss, more so gossip, about another's life instead of working on our own? Furthermore, why is it at another instead of inward upon ourselves? Why do we find the need to change everyone before changing the only person we actually have the power to change, ourselves?

I will focus in on one reason I feel this is...My thought is in the human realm we want to feel better and how do you get to the word better.. by comparing to something that is worse. For you can't have "better" without having "worse" just like you can't have light without having darkness. And so we resort to putting others down, whether intentional or not, in order to be at that "better" status. What does this come down to? Perhaps pride. We want to be proud, sitting atop this mountain of accomplishments saying "hey look what I did! look at me look at me!" even if just saying that to ourselves to make ourselves feel better. Even if that mountain is nothing more that a compilation of lies.

But that mountain of accomplishments beneath you- is it really an accomplishment? Is it a solid ground or base to stand on for the rest of your life? Think about it. You feel pride or accomplishment or "better" because you have a home, a car, a high paying job, "things." Guess what. Every single bit of that can be taken away in an instant. And then what do you have left? That mountain is nothing more than a little raise in flat ground that you can trip over. And trip over you will when you lose all that and realize you have no grounds to stand upon.

The mountain we should stand atop is the mountain of faith in Christ. Turn over pride to instead take on humbleness. Turn over all of those deadly sins in return for God's great blessings. Make that your mountain to stand on. God can raise you higher than any earthly matter. In losing you will gain and in gaining you are on the way to eternal life. There is no need to compare ourselves to another, to put down another, to compete against another. All we must do is turn ourselves over to Christ and instead of being "better" be the "best" we can be with His Spirit shining through us. The good news is we can all do this, we can all be our best version of ourselves. We can ALL be the BEST all at once!

We can all do this now. It doesn't matter if you're 16, 30, 60 or God bless you 100. You still have the opportunity to make your life what God intended it to be. As life goes on and the years go by we see it as less time, less opportunity, no point in starting now or starting over. But there is every reason to, right now no matter what your age, no matter what the time, no matter anything. Everything is on God's time and since God is forever, I don't think time affects Him the same way it does us. He'd love for you to turn to Him no matter what and no matter when. He'd love for you to express your sins, ask for forgiveness and trust in His Son Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior. In being human, we all sin, but we are given this amazing blessing of forgiveness if we can just hand over that pride and say let Your will be done Lord. There is no better time than now, for now is the only moment we know we have.

So, stop competing, stop hurting others, stop pointing the finger, stop judging, stop gossiping, stop anything that is putting others down instead of raising them up. Then work on raising yourself up in Christ. And when others do these hurtful things to you, forgive them for they know not what you know now. Love them anyways. Pray for them.


There are six things the Lord hates—
    no, seven things he detests:
17 haughty eyes,
    a lying tongue,
    hands that kill the innocent,
18 a heart that plots evil,
    feet that race to do wrong,
19 a false witness who pours out lies,
    a person who sows discord in a family.
Proverbs 6:16-19

The process continues... an update and a challenge

October 1st started that special diet I was on- pretty much nothing other than meats, veggies and a little bit of fruit, but all organic, non-gmo, grass fed, antibiotic/hormone free, which makes things a whole lot harder, and more expensive.

As the days slowly went by, I was craving so many other things. I was counting down the days until the 2-3 weeks hit so I could re-introduce the other foods. When I met with my doctor just after 2 weeks, she said try to make it to 3.

But, when 3 weeks came, it came and then also passed. I decided if I made it that long why not make it a whole month. So I challenged myself, and instead of the original 14-21 days, I would be doing 31. And when 31 days arrived, I still didn't even want to re-introduce anything!

However, I decided I needed to, because I started this process and had to finish it, determining which foods flare up symptoms. So far I've re-introduced nuts (excluding peanuts which have a category of their own later) and nightshades (potatoes and tomatoes- there are others but I already know they bother me). Unfortunately, I didn't seem to do too well with either. Oddly, tomatoes seemed ok but of course that's one food I rarely eat. Nuts seemed fairly ok besides cashews which seemed to trigger my MG (high in magnesium is my guess, which I have to be super cautious with). So I am going to just try to keep all of that still omitted and try those again later after continuing on with my re-introductions.

The good part of all this- I'm maintaining a very healthy weight and eating all very nutritious foods. I have not eaten out anywhere in 38 days now! I'm guessing that will be about 90 days by the time I'm done re-introducing.

The bad part of all this- My health is totally unstable. I'm slightly annoyed because I was managing everything so well on my own. I understood my body, I understood my triggers, I understood my limitations and allowances. But now that's all thrown off and it's like I'm starting completely over. I get the point of this is to over time make me better, but so far that is far from happening. I think part of the problem is my sugar intake is currently much higher than my normal. That's because with only meat, veggies and fruit to choose from, fruit is much too often. My glucose level just tested was really high! Not good. The other bad part of this is how do you socialize or live even half normally! I can't eat at like any restaurant. I can't even be out for too long because I need to eat at certain times and certain foods which are not non-perishable. Lastly, the expense. It's ridiculous that eating healthy costs more than eating junk/fake food. I was eating healthy before but I included things I can't right now like non-gmo potato chips, trail mix, gluten free granola, beans, etc. which cost a whole lot less than antibiotic/hormone free meats and organic veggies. Thankfully my parents are tremendously helping me out in that area.

As for the lyme herbal protocol I'm on, it's been so rough! When lyme gets killed you get much worse before you get any better. The problem is you don't really know if the "getting worse" part is due to lyme being killed or lyme not being killed and attacking you. I'm praying and hoping it gets better but only time will tell.

Hopefully all of this is just yet another hill to climb over... I've had a lot of those in these past 7 years and I'm more than ready for some flat ground... preferably a beach.

So if I can do all this, I bet you can can do it too. Let me give you a little challenge. Over the next week, cut out one thing that is bad for you that you tend too have to much off- try to cut out sugar or gluten or dairy. If that seems too tough, just try to cut out one specific item like soda or milk or ice cream or candy. Just try it and see if you feel any better. If you do, keep it up and cut out another thing. Do this whole process I'm doing in reverse and see if you can meet me where I'm at so we can go at this whole thing together! Having support is half the battle and I'd love for you to join me in this!

The Two Greatest

Mark 10:21 says "Jesus looked at him and loved him. 'One thing you lack,' he said. 'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'"

'Jesus the King' by Timothy Keller explains this in a powerful way: "In other words Jesus says: 'If you want to follow me and to have eternal life, of course you shouldn't commit adultery; you shouldn't defraud people or murder them. You shouldn't do bad things. But if you just repent of doing bad things, all it will do is make you a religious person. If you want eternal life, if you want intimacy with God, if you want to get over that nagging sense that there's still something missing, if you can't find a way to get the stain out, then you have to change how you relate to your gifts and successes. You have to repent of how you've been using your good things.'"

That woke me up. It shook me up. Hold on to that thought for a moment.

You see, I've been struggling a lot lately... I advise others against people pleasing, but it's the exact trap I'm falling into myself. Other's attempt of direction over my life is clouding out God's direction in my life.

Ever since I first became a Christian a bit over 3 years ago, I felt called to ministry. It has been my heart's desire to eventually go into ministry. And everything I'm doing right now is preparing me to do just that, learning and growing, getting ready to give back, perhaps in a big way. But by nature of this world, that has been clouded. It's been clouded by the pressure, from myself or others, to do more than what I am doing and to do it now, not wait. I've been feeling that tug, that uneasiness, that uncertainty and it's clouded my head with confusion, doubt and horrible fear.

But here's the thing, and it's huge... I AM good enough. My worth is defined in the eyes of God, not people.

So last night I pulled all that together to once again be reminded of something, something big. God wants me right where I am right now and I am certain He has good reason. This is a time of rest, a time to work on improving my health to my greatest capacity, a time to reflect on His goodness, a time to research, read and learn, a time to discover who I am in His eyes, not the eyes of the world, a time to prepare me for something greater in the future, a time for Him and a time for me- together. This time is a gift. And I've been, countless times, nearly throwing that gift away due to placing the voice of others above His.

How does this connect to what I was reading in 'Jesus the King'? Well, let me continue.

Timothy Keller goes on to say this. "And there are many ways that we use these 'good things.' We may be using our 'good things' to deal with the imperfections that no one else can see. We may be incessantly trying to turn material wealth into spiritual treasure to deal with that inner sense of poverty... We also may be using our good things to feel superior over others... So Jesus is saying to the man in this passage, 'You have put your faith and trust in your wealth and accomplishments. But the effort is alienating you from God. Right now God is your boss; but God is not your Savior..."

Wow. That just hit me over the head. So many people have told me to write a book. I've pondered it, I started writing one a few times, and I always thought that would be awesome to do. But honestly, it's one of those clouds I was just referring to. This is why: This morning I was thinking, if I write a book and I'm 100% honest with myself, I'd be writing this book for me. I'd be writing this book to feel like I'm worth something and have something to show for myself, to prove to others I did something valuable in life, to receive words of affirmation and praise. Even if it would touch and affect other people, ultimately the root of my intention would be for me. How selfish is that.

Let's continue to wrap this up. "If you want to be a Christian, of course you'll repent of your sins. But after you've repented of your sins you'll have to repent of how you have used the good things in your life to fill the place where God should be. If you want intimacy with God, if you want to get over this sense that something is missing, it will have to become God that you love with all your heart and strength."

If I ever write a book, I want it to be strictly guided by the Holy Spirit in what He wants me to write and when. I want to even have the courage to remove my name from it, so all the glory goes to God, not me. But right now, is not that time. Now is a time of preparation and reflection of who God intends for me to be. And I have to remain content in that and block out all distraction leading me away from it. I have to love God with all my heart and strength in order to even have the capacity to fully love others.


What is clouding your relationship with God? What is causing you to not hear His voice and instead listen to the voice of others? How can you change this to assure God is Lord of your life? Does anything you are doing have selfish intent? Can you step away from the craziness of life, reflect, and redirect back onto the path God wants you to be on?

I pray we may all have the courage and strength to refocus our lives to God's greatest commandments, first to love Him and second to love others. Live life intently, His intent. God bless.