Suicide Prevention

Disclaimers: First, no I am absolutely by no means considering doing this, please do not take it in that way. Second, if you or anyone else is please seek professional help/guidance immediately. I am not a medical professional and this does not constitute medical advice. The suicide prevention hotline in USA is 1-800-273-8255

In getting diagnosed with lyme disease and bartonella (a tick born co-infection), I have spent some time researching and conversing with others in the lyme community. More times than I can count I have heard about others who were pondering suicide or ones who already have. That breaks my heart. Before lyme disease, honestly I never understood how anyone could even consider taking their own life. But now in having lyme disease, though I don't agree with it, I understand their thinking and that in itself is hard to swallow.

When you talk to another person or look at another person or hear about another person, do you truly know what they are going through? Do you have all the facts at hand? Is what is called a fact even a fact, or is it misinformation, deceit and facts removed? Are you by chance judging that person, criticizing that person, or simply walking in the other direction when instead you could be of help? You could be the one that saves a life...

Lyme Disease and co-infections can possibly put you at risk of becoming suicidal. In my opinion, this is why:

- Lack of knowledge: Lyme disease is brushed off as no big deal... by medical professionals and therefore by family and friends also. People gasp at the word cancer. People don't even flinch at the words lyme disease. Both can kill you whether from the disease itself or complications of. Cancer patients receive support, encouragement, donations, gifts, walks, events, etc. Lyme disease patients... not much. The support is greatly lacking as a whole. This leaves a lyme patient feeling alone and isolated. The need to explain and re-explain, defend oneself over and over gets exhausting when we are already exhausted. We need people to believe us and support us.

- The financial burden: Because of lyme disease being brushed off in the medical community (which I can write an entire post about later), lyme patients typically have to make a choice that doesn't really end up being a choice: go to a regular MD who will brush it off and don't get proper treatment, don't go to any doctor and don't get treatment, or go to an LLMD (lyme literate MD) and get proper treatment. LLMD's don't accept insurance. The initial visit can be hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Then come follow up visits, medications, blood tests, imaging etc. As of next year apparently Medicare along with not covering LLMD's also won't cover anything they order like prescriptions. I've heard of lyme patients who have spent 10s of thousands of dollars in seeking and receiving treatment, out of pocket, in debt. These are patients who typically cannot work. The money to get treatment therefore typically doesn't exist. We go broke trying to get well or we continue to get sicker.

- Physical Sickness: Every single second of every single day in varying degrees. I was able to go on that road trip I mentioned previously because of accommodations which included reducing my medication dosage. I can't keep my dose low. Now that it's back up I'm really sick again. It's hard to eat, what I can manage to stomach is not the healthiest food, that in return makes me sicker. Lots of pain, stiffness, chills, nausea, dizziness, extreme extreme fatigue and tiredness. The quality of life is typically pretty horrible for someone with lyme unless/until it happens to go into remission. Remission is not guaranteed or permanent. It is SO hard, even if it is invisible to you.

- Mental Illness: Lyme and bartonella along with taking the meds for them can mess with your brain, very badly. I've already dealt with it and it's crazy hard. It makes you feel like a different person. It takes over. Sometimes you don't know if it's you or the lyme anymore. It makes you have mood swings, personality changes, rage, depression, anxiety. Mental illness in general is shrugged off a lot, but this is stemming from a physical disease and even then gets shrugged off. People seem to think we can just change our way of thinking or seek help. It's not that easy. There is a bacteria spiraling through our bodies and our brains making physical changes happen inside us. We don't like it but we can't change it.

- Isolation: The loss of family and friends. Again coming back to the isolation. Even when people do believe you and start out supporting you, slowly they sometimes start to leave. This isn't like the flu or chickenpox that after a week or month or so it all goes away. It is chronic and people either don't quite understand how that works and/or can't handle it. It causes break ups, divorces, friendships lost and so much abandonment, loneliness and pain.

So what can you do in support of others struggling? In my opinion, just be there, and make sure the other person knows it. Don't try to solve the problem. Just provide an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold. Send a card, say a prayer, make a donation, offer a ride to the doctor, ask to learn more about what they are going through. Ask what you can do, or better yet just say you are going to do it... and then, actually do it, and do it again and again. Don't give up on us.

Lastly, as I mentioned in the beginning, I am not considering this. The reason for me is Jesus. If you don't yet know Him, if you believe but haven't given your life to Him, there is no better time than now. Don't go another day, another second, without the best relationship of all, the relationship that means you will never be alone, the relationship that provides hope, joy and love. The relationship that never ends and always cares, the hand always reaching out to you. Jesus. The way, the truth, the life. My everything who can be your everything also. There is hope and that hope is through Him who gives you strength. Seek Him first and the rest will be provided to you.

Stay strong. God bless.