Does the sound of all that make you uncomfortable or sound draining to you? Then you are probably an introvert, as am I.
There is nothing wrong with either category looking at it as a whole. Yet sometimes extroverts will think there is something wrong with introverts. Sometimes they will push them to go out more, criticize them for being anti-social, tell them they have to get out of their shell or lighten up, so on and so forth. Why do introverts have to transition over to become an extrovert? Why not the other way around? Better yet, why not just realize we are all different and that is ok, we weren't created to be identical (unless you are a twin ha ha).
Recently, I've been hearing and reading a lot about this. So I thought I would take a moment to discuss it and try to help people understand some misconceptions.
As an introvert, generally (not always):
1- We are not shy. Around friends, family and sometimes in public, we can be very outgoing. Even if we are quiet, quiet does not mean shy.
2- We like to listen.
3- We need a reason to interact. We don't want to just small talk or gossip just for the sake of talking. We'd rather sit in silence than do either of those.
4- We feel fake when forced into a situation of small talk. We'd much rather dive into an intensely deep, meaningful conversation. We can also feel fake if we are discussing a topic we have no interest in or know nothing about.
5- We may love public speaking. We just need our time to reflect before and probably also after.
6- We dislike talking on the phone, actually strongly dislike it. Expect your calls to go to voice mail so we can listen, reflect and then call you back when we are ready, or more than likely text or email you back.
7- We choose not to make plans every weekend. Answering "nothing" to "what are you doing this weekend?" is perfectly acceptable and often times preferred. We need to recharge.
8- We like things many people don't such as lectures, seminars, libraries, etc. where we can listen and/or learn.
9- We enjoy reading, writing, artwork, puzzles, researching, spending time with animals, gardening and chatting over the internet.
10- We do not mean to come off as arrogant, rude or stand-offish. Often times we are just deep in thought.
11- We do not like being interrupted and don't see it as being a break. We lose our train of thought.
12- We can be very good leaders. We just would prefer working solo as opposed to in a group more often than not. That is when we do our best work.
13- We make lists, lots of lists. We write everything down.
14- We tend to have our own opinions, which often times go against the vast majority of society. We like to think outside the box and do a lot of soul searching and research, sometimes over-analyzing, before coming to a conclusion on something.
15- We are self-motivated, but occasionally procrastinate.
16- We are most relaxed and comfortable when on our own or alone with significant other.
17- We tend to dislike crowds. We may be overwhelmed by all the stimulation.
18- We enjoy others with deep personalities and find them intellectually stimulating.
19- We don't get impressed by social, economic or career status of anyone. We see people as a whole, as a soul, not as a label.
20- We like to go out and be social, we just don't like to do it for nearly as long or as often as extroverts.
21- We tend to like to plan when we go out, so we can mentally prepare for the outing which even if enjoyable will make us exhausted by the end of the night.
Now add in a chronic illness to that. Add in several chronic illnesses. Add in these:
22- Sensory overload. Every sight, sound, motion shoots at you at once and your brain just can't handle it.
23- Anxiety and panic attacks.
24- Extreme fatigue, weakness, exhaustion- physical and mental.
25- Just straight out feeling sick- nausea, dizziness, lightheaded, tired, in pain, stiff, itchy, etc.
26- Feeling surrounded by people who don't understand that even though you "look fine" you are very sick and it's very hard.
27- Or worse, people who question you accusingly, criticize you, judge you and ridicule you for making up an illness.
28- Adrenal fatigue in which any sort of stimulation or stresser adds up and too much can possibly land you in the hospital.
29- A need to control your environment, not a control issue but a true medical need- certain room temperatures, no allergens or fumes, having to sit/stand/walk/lay down whenever the need arises.
30- Sometimes choosing not to go out because you feel like a burden because of all those accommodations- different foods, needing certain temperatures in the room, allergies, sensitives to fumes, needing to bring a wheel chair, etc.
2- We like to listen.
3- We need a reason to interact. We don't want to just small talk or gossip just for the sake of talking. We'd rather sit in silence than do either of those.
4- We feel fake when forced into a situation of small talk. We'd much rather dive into an intensely deep, meaningful conversation. We can also feel fake if we are discussing a topic we have no interest in or know nothing about.
5- We may love public speaking. We just need our time to reflect before and probably also after.
6- We dislike talking on the phone, actually strongly dislike it. Expect your calls to go to voice mail so we can listen, reflect and then call you back when we are ready, or more than likely text or email you back.
7- We choose not to make plans every weekend. Answering "nothing" to "what are you doing this weekend?" is perfectly acceptable and often times preferred. We need to recharge.
8- We like things many people don't such as lectures, seminars, libraries, etc. where we can listen and/or learn.
9- We enjoy reading, writing, artwork, puzzles, researching, spending time with animals, gardening and chatting over the internet.
10- We do not mean to come off as arrogant, rude or stand-offish. Often times we are just deep in thought.
11- We do not like being interrupted and don't see it as being a break. We lose our train of thought.
12- We can be very good leaders. We just would prefer working solo as opposed to in a group more often than not. That is when we do our best work.
13- We make lists, lots of lists. We write everything down.
14- We tend to have our own opinions, which often times go against the vast majority of society. We like to think outside the box and do a lot of soul searching and research, sometimes over-analyzing, before coming to a conclusion on something.
15- We are self-motivated, but occasionally procrastinate.
16- We are most relaxed and comfortable when on our own or alone with significant other.
17- We tend to dislike crowds. We may be overwhelmed by all the stimulation.
18- We enjoy others with deep personalities and find them intellectually stimulating.
19- We don't get impressed by social, economic or career status of anyone. We see people as a whole, as a soul, not as a label.
20- We like to go out and be social, we just don't like to do it for nearly as long or as often as extroverts.
21- We tend to like to plan when we go out, so we can mentally prepare for the outing which even if enjoyable will make us exhausted by the end of the night.
Now add in a chronic illness to that. Add in several chronic illnesses. Add in these:
22- Sensory overload. Every sight, sound, motion shoots at you at once and your brain just can't handle it.
23- Anxiety and panic attacks.
24- Extreme fatigue, weakness, exhaustion- physical and mental.
25- Just straight out feeling sick- nausea, dizziness, lightheaded, tired, in pain, stiff, itchy, etc.
26- Feeling surrounded by people who don't understand that even though you "look fine" you are very sick and it's very hard.
27- Or worse, people who question you accusingly, criticize you, judge you and ridicule you for making up an illness.
28- Adrenal fatigue in which any sort of stimulation or stresser adds up and too much can possibly land you in the hospital.
29- A need to control your environment, not a control issue but a true medical need- certain room temperatures, no allergens or fumes, having to sit/stand/walk/lay down whenever the need arises.
30- Sometimes choosing not to go out because you feel like a burden because of all those accommodations- different foods, needing certain temperatures in the room, allergies, sensitives to fumes, needing to bring a wheel chair, etc.
So Now
Add all of this together. This is why those with chronic illness who are introverts choose to stay in, choose to hold get-togethers in their own homes, choose to converse with people through chat or text, make and maintain close friends on facebook, write blogs to promote awareness, let go of people in their lives that make doing all of this and merely living more difficult for them.
We love our friends and family and we want to spend time with them, but we do things a little differently, and that is ok.
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