Yesterday, the 4th of July... I tried to be *somewhat* "normal".
I went to the parade in the morning, and I strayed off my healthy eating routine.
That's all, and now I'm paying for it.
Today I'm super weak. When I tried to walk a bit, all the muscles in my legs started spasming. They can't handle walking today. No big deal? If I kept going I would topple over my own legs because they would no longer be able to support me. My eyelids are drooping, that rarely happens to me. Lots of trouble focusing with my vision. My face and jaw are weak, not talking and definitely not smiling much, I can't. My arms and upper body are weak. I'm resting. After this blog I need to stop typing, even with my arms rested on me as I lay here, today it's too much. I'm laying in bed resting. That's all I can do. And I'm hoping it gets better rather than worse, because worse would be dangerous.
All this because...
I went out in the morning when typically my body can't function well enough until the afternoon.
I sat outside, in the sun, for about an hour, when sun makes MG worse.
I ate a sub sandwich- that means bread, processed meats, cheese, non-organic veggies, those things are poison to my body.
All of that seems only part of a normal day for anyone healthy. For me it was too much and set off my MG. This is exactly why "normal" can't happen. Even if we are starting to feel like we can do "normal", we shouldn't because the result is this. The result is a day or multiple days weak, unable to do anything, possibly with a hospital stay, and occasionally ICU with the vent. That's MG.
It's hard for those who don't have it to understand this. It doesn't make sense. We know that. But we aren't asking you to fix us or figure things out. We're just asking you to listen, to care, to be there however we need you because we do need you.
So once again, please understand- THIS IS MG... or POTS or whatever it is hitting us at the moment, or all things combined. It is not being depressed, it is not us having anxiety, it is not us complaining, it is not us being lazy. It is a REAL PHYSICAL DISABLING ILLNESS that we battle every single second of every single day. It's invisible, but it's real, and we need people to stop arguing us on that... because another thing that flares us up... stress.
Thank you. Prayers are much appreciated.
Good for you for getting out there and going to the parade even though there were all sorts of variables against you. You were brave to eat that sub. Despite it being poisonous, in the moment was it yummy? I haven't had wheat or dairy in well over a year and I daydream about pizza and sweet subs. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your short excursion hit you so hard! Even when I know something is going to knock me out and I tell myself to be prepared for the backlash, I am still surprised each time. I hope those around you are supportive while you recover.