An Explanation and a Request

Here's a few things I'd like everyone to know.

#1- Due to my health issues- physical health issues- my tolerance of stress is very very low. You see most people start with an empty glass and every bit of stress is like a little pour of water. It can take a while to fill up that glass. Well, for me that glass is already pretty close to the top. Just a little bit and it puts me over the edge. If my stress level is over the edge, I can't mentally/emotionally function anymore. I can't control this, I can't change this. I get it doesn't seem normal or easy to understand but it is what it is and I have to deal with it.

#2- Stress is bad for everyone in general. Well stress is worse for me or anyone with health issues. Stress flares up my symptoms very quickly and very horribly. To the point I then can't physically function.

#3- I'm pregnant- that means hormones- up and down roller coaster emotions on top of the two above.

#4- I'm pregnant- I'm caring for another life inside me. Stress can harm not only my health but his as well. Stress in mothers is known to cause issues in babies and later in children.


Thus, I try everything in my power to avoid stress, to avoid things that trigger me which will cause stress. And I have asked those very close to me to help with that as much as humanly possible. So what are my triggers? (Trigger warning-- skip to under the dotted line if anything could set off what emotionally hurts you.)

#1- Feeling like a failure, like I'm always wrong. (I came out of an emotionally abusive manipulative relationship).

#2- Feeling unloved, not cared about, abandoned. (I was cheated on and left for another with no regard for my well being whatsoever-literally left alone in the hospital as he traveled out of state on vacation).

#3- Feeling like I'm not a priority to my spouse or having others close to us talk behind my back. (My ex never did the leave and cleave- his family was #1, I was somewhere lower on the list. His family talked about me behind my back merely because we had different political stances and quickly turning horribly bad with one calling me a name, I won't repeat, to him and he didn't stand up for me.)

#4- Being reminded that I may never have a daughter. Please understand this is absolutely separate from having a son. It's not if I desire a daughter that I can't love my son. I will love my son, but my heart deeply longs to have a daughter. There is nothing wrong with my feelings nor expressing them.

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You see we all have triggers due to our individual life situations, perhaps how we were raised, going through divorce, or any other life situation. We can do our best to prevent those things from being set off- like staying away from things that can do that, but some things are out of control. So the more people are aware, the better they can hopefully choose to help.

At the same time, I strongly disagree with living in a world where everyone is so politically correct, so cautious to not say anything that could somehow someway hurt another that no one is allowed to express themselves, that we all mesh into carbon copies instead of how we are- uniquely created by God. If you know someone's trigger- don't set it off. If you have unkind words about someone else, don't speak them, pray about it. But don't stop being you out of fear someone out there may not agree. You can be sensitive without trying to please everyone, because pleasing everyone is impossible. Because who will you choose to please- this person or that person- because one or the other is going to disagree? No. You please God. Only God. He created us and designed us individually. Of course we are all still a work in progress, but let God do that work and don't let others stop it.

These are not just my wants or desires, these are my needs so that I can stay in the best possible health to carry this baby to the best possible health. Please help me. I'm crying out, literally, and desperately in need of people to lift me up to God to carry me through this. I'm making myself completely vulnerable by sharing my emotions, and I appreciate each and every person who chooses to support and not judge me through this. Thank you.