Doctors are a nightmare

Some people prefer natural; some prefer pharmaceutical, and all for their own reason, and that's fine. But based on my experience and research I strongly prefer natural, God-made medicine from nature, not machines and chemicals. My drs back in Chicago fully supported me in that, even encouraged it. I loved having those drs in my life. They are part of the reason I'm where I'm at physically today. Doing things the natural way, taking herbs and supplements has been what has kept me stable for the past years including this first trimester of pregnancy. And it was my plan to continue down that road the entire way.

These drs all started out saying they will advise what they feel is best but it will be up to me to decide. Well what they failed to mention up front is if I choose to even question their advice/consider a different route aka natural, they will drop me as a patient. And yesterday that's what happened. So now I am left without a dr and I have no idea at all what to do. I am not hearing God anywhere in this. I'm lost, confused alone and so sad in what should be one of the most joyful times, especially considering physically all is going so much better than expected.

The problem is this. I have a minor blood clot disorder. The drs disagreed with each other whether or not I should be on blood thinner shots. Weighing the risks and benefits, I agreed with the dr who said I don't have to be on them. I chose to continue my natural supplements that also reduce blood clot risk. Well apparently behind my back they all had a discussion and the dr who was on board with me suddenly changed their story to no I have to be on blood thinner shots- to the point of pressuring me tremendously. How can you trust a dr who goes from one end of the spectrum to another?

Anyways, I would consider the shots as I know it can help prevent clots which are serious. But here are the 2 major issues. 1 is it is $250 a month for these shots! Um hello, my husband is a pastor for a very small church and I haven't been able to work a full time job. We are doing incredibly well given that situation but it's because we watch what we spend. Doing that on top of medical bills and trying to save for baby- I don't know how that can be justified when I have a cheaper option of natural.

2 is this- if I were to take the shots, I can no longer take half of my herbs/supplements. That means in order to protect myself and the baby from lyme disease I need to be on antibiotics the entire pregnancy- that is just setting the baby up to have a horrible immune system, plus adding even more to that cost. And 3, it would be switching up my entire protocol that has worked so very well for me and kept me stable. I've tried the pharmaceutical route numerous times and it's failed me, why do I have to be forced into doing it again?

Both pharmaceutical and natural have their benefits and risks. My job is to research them, discuss them, weigh them and make the choice best suited for me and baby as individuals. So what do I do? I had a plan and that plan caused me to lose my dr. Now I'm without a dr and questioning my plan. And not hearing God in any of this.

Do I find another dr and risk this happening all over again? Do I just listen to the dr and risk messing up the stability of my health? Do I find a midwife and deliver at home yet risk a serious emergency situation upon delivery (MG requires I'm in a hospital as crisis can hit time of labor and delivery). There is only 1 midwife covered on my insurance who delivers at a hospital... and that's if she even still does so and is at all decent, I have no idea. I'll have to call her and find out but I haven't yet since I really don't know what to do and what the best option is. (Update- the number is disconnected and no one knows anything about her- thus midwife at a hospital is not an option). I shouldn't have to be faced with this decision. Drs should work with the patient on what is individually best for them- natural, pharmaceutical or something else!

Please pray I'm led to the best decision for myself and baby. Pray for wisdom for my husband and I in this. Pray for a dr, midwife or otherwise who is available, able and willing to give the best possible care for my unique situation. Pray for this baby and his or her health regardless of which option. Pray for peace, comfort and to somehow be surrounded by support even though all my family, close friends and best drs live no where near here. Lord lead me.

And as I know this can be a touchy topic, please please don't start a debate of natural vs. pharmaceutical. I could really use support and prayers right now, not hearing people argue about this. Thank you.