Originally Posted: Why do marriages fail?

***When I returned to Chicago 3.5 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be.

And this here is my last post to transfer over to this blog. It was just shortly before writing this post below that I met the man I am married to now. Crazy how the good part of what I was talking about was already in the works. God is truly amazing.***

Originally Posted: August 27, 2014
Why Do Marriages Fail?

Two people fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. Right? Wrong. And that misconception is exactly why some marriages fail.

Marriage is about love, I would agree with that, but 'what is love?' should be the real question. How we define love and more importantly how we act upon it may be what keeps two people together or splits them apart.

God is love. Period.

We can fall in love with how someone looks, but that someone is going to age and their looks are going to change. They may get in a serious accident in which you no longer can even recognize them. Then what?

We can fall in love with someone's personality. We may feel strongly about who they are as a person, their character, traits and how they live their life. We may get along really well and similarities may make it seem like it was "meant to be." But people change, people grow. Sometimes people change for the worse and sometimes people grow apart. Then what?

We can fall in love with the idea of love. We can build this fairy tale idea in our head that this really is our happily ever after. She's my princess and he's my prince charming. Nothing can take away this love we have. That love is a feeling. But what happens when feelings fade, when trials come and arguments happen, when temptation arises from another person brought into the middle. Then what?

Nearly everything can change, can break, can end. Everyone can get sick, go into debt, lose a job, even have a personality change. None of those things are guaranteed to last forever. So if we put our trust in those things, if we base our "love" in those things, we are setting ourselves up for failure.

God is love. God is the only One who does not change, who does not leave nor forsake us, who will always be there in the good times and the bad, the only One we can fully and always trust with our lives and with our hearts.

Love is not merely a feeling with butterflies and goosebumps and bubbly hearts all around us. Love is a choice. Love is an action. Love is a commitment, a vow, a promise, a forever.

A true marriage is a union of two souls coming together as one through God. Marriage takes three. Marriage takes commitment, dedication, humility, sacrifice, strength and so much effort. But if God is the center, that effort is going to bring such reward. That effort is going to ultimately shape us into who God wants us to be. That marriage will come closer to what God truly intends for marriage to be and a representation of Christ's love for the church, for us.

In knowing that, I know if I ever get married again, that marriage will be based off of and centered on God. I have heard before, "Have your heart so deeply in Jesus that a man needs to go to Jesus in order to find you." and I couldn't agree more. Furthermore, I always want to stay there. God first. God center. God always.

God bless.