Originally Posted: Reversed

***When I came back to Chicago 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: October 18, 2013
Reversed

We as society have it all wrong.

Why are we on this earth? No I'm not asking the biological process. We as human beings as a whole are on this earth because God put us here. Yes I know the theory of evolution but even if, even if that were the case, how did it start? You can't get something from nothing. Where did that one particle or atom or whatever you want to call it come from? The absolute only answer is God. A divine being bigger and greater than our human minds can fathom.

So why on earth do we put God, the greatest that there is, last?

We try this and that and fail and try again and again and again. Then we cry out, maybe only half believing in His existence, God help me! And then we get angry when we don't get an answer immediately. Or maybe we've grown past that point and now we think of God but only in times of desperation or desire. We treat Him as a bank to take out money as opposed to honoring and respecting Him as the reason for our absolute being.

God wants you to ask Him for help. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7 But, God wants to be first in your life, as He should be. "Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" Matthew 7:22-23

We have it all wrong.

We should all be taught from the very beginning of our life on earth to honor God first and foremost. Furthermore, we should be taught about God for you can't honor someone you don't know. Focus throughout all of life should be centered around God. Family should be centered around God. We should be praising Him through all things and all times, the good the bad, the happy the sad. We should appreciate each and every blessing if we ever want to receive more. We are taught to honor our father and mother. Well, the Father of all of us is in Heaven above. We need to look up to Him, literally and figuratively speaking. Do all things to glorify Him. Be humble, be selfless, be a giver, love.

We have it all wrong.

Happy Meals. Are you kidding me? This thought just hit me today. Kids are raised to believe this meal is going to make them happy! That trickles down and around and all over into everything. Eat this, buy that, do this, see that... it'll make you so happy! Even the commercials on tv for prescription medication. They always float around or dance with a smile on their face as the voice over reads off all the serious side effects "which may include death". Marketing is so fake. And it's around us more than we even realize. And this is coming from someone who's title used to include the word marketing.

All of this takes our focus off of what it should be on, God. Imagine if we removed all the gimmicks, all the marketing, all the false proclamations. Imagine if we all put God first in our lives. Imagine if we treated others the way we want to be treated, as the Bible tells us to. It would be a win - win - win situation all around. So why can't we? We can. It doesn't have to be imagined, it can be experienced.

Are we embarrassed to put God first? Are we scared to lose control? Are we too full of pride to let His will be done? Are we afraid of the unknown? Are we bitter towards the possibility of a higher being due to our past or hurtful moments in time?

When we do something that is clearly defined as a sin or wrong doing in the Bible, we justify it in our own minds. Is that justification enough? No. Absolutely not. You cannot knowingly sin and tell yourself it's ok and expect God will be ok with it too. Do not sin. Do not divorce. Do not commit adultery. Do not kill. There are a lot of do nots but it is not to restrict you, it is to protect you. He feels the pain you feel. He wants the best for you. He knows your past, present and future. You can't hide anything from Him, so stop trying. Be an honest, kind human being and live for Him as Jesus died for you on the cross.

God is a forgiving God. But He is also more powerful than any other. And He has the power to determine where you will go for all eternity. Isn't that enough to give it up to Him? God MUST come first. Or the hour will come and you do not know when, and you won't be taken to the amazing place He has to offer. And then... was that short moment of false happiness worth it?

Putting God first means just that. Put Him first! Pick up a Bible and read it.... daily. Follow it! Pray... constantly, through all things. Fellowship with Christians. Attend Church service. Maybe you think it's too much at once but if you're not all in, why be in at all? God isn't a one foot in one foot out being. There is one path to Heaven and it is a narrow one. You must accept Christ and walk that narrow path, hardships and all. God will provide the resources to get you through it. Others will get in the way but they will pay the price on judgement day; do not worry about trying to punish them. God will take care of that. If you're a non-believer, take that leap of faith right now. Tonight.

You can't walk the wide road and do whatever you please knowing all along at the end you will jump on the narrow path and say ok I'm ready! For again, God will say away with you, I never knew you! Besides, there is no guarantee when that time will come. So get over to the narrow path now.

It's a step of faith, that it is. But since no one on this earth is perfect, including yourself, you can't put full trust in anyone or anything... except Jesus. Accept Jesus. Accept Him. He's calling YOUR name. Are YOU going to answer His call?

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

Much Overdue Update, Again

Hello there! Wow it's been a while, a long while since I've last written... probably close to 2 months. It is so good to feel these keys under my fingers again as I type... like a kid in a candy store or a driver back behind the wheel. No matter who disagrees, behind a keyboard is where I belong. I was meant to write!

I know many people were commenting that I wasn't writing and asking why, so if you were one of them here is the reason.

I've been spending the winter elsewhere. When I left, I thought, hey there is no need to bring my laptop; I've got a tablet now and access to a computer if needed. Well it turns out, I'm not much of a tablet person. Yes it's great to check the weather and catch up on a show, but for typing, not so much. And that access to a computer hasn't been as accessible as I thought it would. I had to go back to town for some doctor appointments and I decided I could no longer do without my "baby" aka laptop lol, so I brought it with and I'm back! My laptop to me is like a cell phone to most people. Try giving up your cell phone for 2 months and see how tough it is!

So to get to the point most people who read this are probably waiting for, a health update. Well, it's still been a roller coaster. Being away caused me to go off my diet way too many times, and my body can extremely feel the difference. My doctor said I need to be strict, no cheats at all- none. How difficult that is, I really can't eat out at all. I'm still on my herbal treatment and it goes ok as long as I eat how I'm supposed to- organic non gmo turkey, chicken, beef, most veggies, a small amount of specific fruits, and lots of healthy fats (coconut milk, coconut oil, etc). No grains (even gluten free ones), nuts, beans, dairy, corn, soy, no to some veggies/fruits, sugar, anything processed... seriously it's crazy. But... I made it 3 whole months with no cheating! 90 days 100% gluten, dairy, sugar free. It was awesome to accomplish that!

In addition, I've been pushing myself beyond my max and it's not serving me or anyone else well. I need my rest, my alone time, my quiet space more than most people. Without it I've found, I'm quite a mess. So I decided I really need to take that me-time, and as urged by many, get back to writing- my one escape since I can no longer run or be active how I used to. I'll start back by explaining something that became clear to me as I was trying to explain my invisible health issues to someone.

You can see me here resting. I look completely normal, I look healthy in fact, besides this lovely neck brace to support my weak neck. Although right now I'm completely drained, my muscles are screaming and spasming and struggling to function, and my adrenals are so shot just walking to the kitchen makes me need to rest again, there is more. All that aside, if I was having a "good" day and still "just" sitting here resting, there is a reason.

That reason is with the chronic health conditions I have, especially Myasthenia Gravis and Lyme Disease, I need energy and strength in my reserve. In order to "fuel up," I need to rest, and rest a lot. Resting allows my body to replenish itself with enough energy and strength to go again... to go to the store, to church, to lunch, just wash dishes or clean part of the house. I cannot do any of that without these rest periods. So even if I look, and even if I feel fine at the moment, I still need to rest to replenish/refuel myself. Without doing so I'm constantly running on empty or half tank quickly making its way to empty. I won't get very far, I may crash/need a trip to the hospital, or just be so drained I'm affected mentally and emotionally and then I probably won't be a very fun person to be around.

When you see pictures or see me out, please know that it's because I did just as I said above. It's a "pay to play" concept. I can't just bounce up and go. I need to actually plan for pretty much every single thing I do... plan to have that energy and strength in my reserve to use for those moments as little as they may be... and "pay" for it both before and after by resting. And if I'm hit with a lot of stress, heat/sun, certain fumes/allergens/medications/foods or doing too much at home, that reserve will be drained and I'll be back at square one having to build it up again. This is a constant ongoing process. This is how I function in life. It's how I have to function.

So when you see me looking fine but at home, don't assume I'm lazy or antisocial. Please understand I probably have somewhere I need to be in a day or two, and this is what I need to do to make it there. When you see me out having a good time, don't assume I'm actually fine. I had to give up something else, or a lot of somethings, in order to spend my time resting to do this one thing, and then I have to go home and rest some more. Please don't judge by a small moment in time you see, but realize there is so much more to the big picture.

I really need to rest, and my guess is having my laptop back at my finger tips will help me do just that as I get back to writing again... well, until my arms give out :)

God bless and thanks for checking in.

Originally Posted: I am a sinner!

***When I came back to Chicago 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: October 9, 2013
I am a sinner!

I have to say something and I have to get it out quickly before the thought leaves me....

I am not perfect. I am not even close to perfect. I am not even good. Do you hear that? I'm not! I am a sinner. A sinner I tell you. And you know why I'm a sinner? Because we all are. We live in a fallen world. That is why we must not trust in the world. That is exactly why we need a savior. We need someone to save us! Jesus Christ! He is our Lord and our savior and we belong to Him if we have been saved by Him. He is the ONLY way into Heaven. And if you don't get into Heaven, the other place is not going to be a joy to spend all eternity. PLEASE now is your chance. Give your life to Christ. You aren't giving up anything. You are in fact receiving the greatest gift that may ever be received. You are receiving salvation through our Lord. Please repent your sins, ask for forgiveness and become humble in Spirit.

I am currently reading- no that's verging on a lie- I am currently BROWSING through a book titled "Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. I say browsing through instead of reading because it is due in 2 days and this was the last of about 20 books, no joke, that I checked out from the library. So now I have to quickly scan through it and then check it out again later because someone currently has it on hold. Today I came across something that I stopped and read in full. I love it. It's exactly what I want to say without having the words to say it. And I quote:

"...a Christian is not a man who never goes wrong, but a man who is enabled to repent and pick himself up and begin over again after each stumble - because the Christ-life is inside him, repairing him all the time, enabling him to repeat (in some degree) the kind of voluntary death which Christ Himself carried out.
     That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or - if they think there is not - at least they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but bright because the sun shines on it.
     And let me make it quite clear that when Christians say the Christ-life is in them, they do not mean simply something mental or moral. When they speak of being 'in Christ' or of Christ being 'in them', this is not simply a way of saying that they are thinking about Christ or copying Him. They mean that Christ is actually operating through them; that the whole mass of Christians are the physical organism through which Christ acts - that we are His fingers and muscles, the cells of His body."

Wow. That is powerful. This book has a lot of good thoughts to ponder and assist in the transformation of becoming more Christ-like or taking that first step. And so it is... we are ALL sinners and in order to get into Heaven we NEED a savior. Being Christian doesn't mean we are perfect or won't sin. Being Christian does NOT in any way mean we are better or think we are better than non-believers. It means that Christ is living in us and through Him we can do all things. All the glory goes to Him. We mustn't take it for ourselves. We must glorify Him in all good that we do and repent to Him when we go wrong. It's ok that we go wrong as long as we're striving to do right and have every intention of not repeating that sin or wrong doing again (even if we do).

Love God because He loves you. He loves every one of you and it would be a joy to Him and to all Christians to see YOU come to know Christ too. Whatever hurtful thing you did, whatever sin you committed, however far off track you think you are, however much you think there is no way or you can't do it... you CAN and you will. I believe in you and God does too. Don't give up. The blessing may be just a step away. But you have to take that step. Step into a life of Christ and fulfill your God given destiny.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24