October 1st, Day 1

Starting tomorrow I will be going on a super strict diet I previously mentioned. This is overseen by my doctor and she expects I may get weaker/worse before getting any better. This is what I will be doing-

For 2+ weeks I can only eat grass fed, antibiotic/hormone free chicken, beef and turkey for meats. For veggies I can eat (organic whenever possible) most things except potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant and corn. For fruit I can have (organic whenever possible) a limited amount but cannot have citrus (or raspberries, blackberries, boysenberries or strawberries due to my allergy). Then I can have a number of spices (organic) and healthy oils such as coconut oil, avocado oil and extra virgin olive oil. For drinks I can have filtered water and organic decaffeinated herbal teas. That's it. 

In addition to this I also have to remove all gluten and toxins from everything in my life (as much as possible seeing as I live with other people who don't necessarily have to do this). You would never imagine how prevalent it is in everything. I knew how toxic foods could be, as the majority of food sold is really processed chemical junk. But I had to go through and change everything- makeup, hair supplies, bath supplies, cleaning supplies, supplements, etc. Expensive and exhausting. 

After these initial 2 weeks, I will be meeting with my doctor when she will discuss the reintroduction period. This means I continue everything from the first phase and there will be various foods I will be reintroducing for 3 days on- eating a lot of one specific food, and then 3 days off- eating none of it again. If during those 6 days I don't get any worsening or new symptoms, I can put that food back into my diet permanently. These foods will include nuts, gluten free grains, rice, corn, citrus fruits, soy, etc. Depending on how specific she wants to get (ie. one grain at a time instead of all at once) this process will take a few months. So for example after the first 2 weeks I will then have 3 days of eating lots of soy, 3 days of no soy, then 3 days of lots of grains, 3 days of no grains, so on and so forth. 

The goal of this is to determine which if any foods are contributing to my symptoms. Many foods can cause sensitivities even if not allergic, and those sensitivities can come out through various systemic symptoms. I already know I am sensitive to dairy, gluten, sugar and caffeine, which the majority of people actually are but don't realize it, so those things are to be removed forever. I'm also supposed to continue always eating organic, non-gmo, antibiotic/hormone free and keeping all toxins out of my life in every area. And lastly, apparently I'm never supposed to add back in beans, lunch meats, sausage, nightshade veggies, coffee or chocolate (I don't foresee that happening permanently. Just sayin.) My hope here is to find that doing just that is enough and that reintroducing all the various foods doesn't make me worse so I can add them back in. 

During this time it's going to be very hard to eat out anywhere, and hard to travel unless I take a cooler everywhere as my body doesn't do well without eating at pretty scheduled times. For that reason along with my doctor stating I will probably get worse at first, I plan to stay close to home as much as possible at least the first two weeks. I also made another decision, adding to this all.

I thought if I am going to do this, I'm going to do this right. As I rid anything toxic, harmful or negative from my life, I plan to also "fast" from those things that aren't necessarily bad but that I put a lot of time and attention to. For the first two weeks, starting tomorrow, I plan to stay off the internet as much as possible. This means expect to not see me on facebook, possibly no posts on here and limited checking email. I'm going to first open myself up more fully to God's lead over my life, and second get a bunch of things done off my to-do list. My hope is that I will then be the empty vessel God needs so that He will then fill me with whomever and whatever He intends to be in my life. 

Please join me in prayer as I do this "fast" in the way I am capable. God, thank You for placing this wonderful doctor in my life. Thank You for her lead as I begin this time of "fasting" in the way I am capable. I pray this time is not only used to help my health improve but to continue to transform me. I pray You rid my life of all things bad so that I may be the empty vessel You need for Your Holy Spirit to flow through me. God, please use me how You intend to best serve Your people and advance Your Kingdom of Heaven. I pray I may reflect the love, grace and truth of our Lord Jesus Christ. God please protect me and provide for me during this time of change and transformation. I trust my life to You and I know Your will is the best will. Please help me discern and follow it all the days of my life. Please be with my family and friends and lead them into the people You intend for them to be also. Please bless us all with the support, forgiveness and encouragement needed to keep on serving You and one another however You see fit. Thank You for this opportunity and another day of life. It's in Your Son Jesus' name I pray. Amen. 

I got baptized! (again but not again)

I was baptized as a baby. Though some believe that is true baptism, I believe babies can only be dedicated. Baptism has to happen by choice and full immersion into the water. It is a public declaration of faith- that you confess your sins, believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose again, accepting Him as your personal Lord and Savior. The only way to heaven. I made that choice over 3 years ago, and finally now made the choice to follow it with baptism. Here is my testimony. As you will see, I chose to do this now, right now, at a women's bible study. But I will be sharing this story at my church on Sunday and if anyone would like to be there, you are more than welcome to join me.

I believed in God, but I didn’t know God, and I didn’t know there was a difference. My life plan seemed to be falling into place… but then all my losses started.

I lost my job as the economy went under. Moving from Chicago to Texas, I lost contact with friends. We had apartment problems, car problems and problems finding new jobs. I kept saying ‘what next?’ claiming it couldn’t get any worse than this. Then, I lost my health.

I got pneumonia, twice, but never fully recovered. For two and a half years, I went from doctor to doctor, being prescribed over 40 medications, multiple ER visits and hospital stays, as everyone always concluded “It’s just anxiety.” And those famous words “but you look fine.”

Just when I thought there wasn’t anything left to lose, I lost what meant the most to me, my husband. He left on vacation as the man I knew, and returned a complete stranger to me. He became emotionally abusive and I suspected he was cheating on me.

One night as I was trying to figure everything out, I asked my husband “Why does Christmas mean so much to you if you no longer believe in God or Jesus?” One simple question that changed my life forever. The words he spoke cracked open my heart and created an emptiness that only God could fill. I spoke up for my faith, for Jesus suffering and dying on the cross just so we could be here. As I did, I felt this rush of light and energy from above burst through my soul and transform me. Days later, reading the Bible, Romans 10:9 gave me my answer: “If you confess with your mouth that ‘Jesus is Lord’, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” And it was all in God’s perfect timing.

Now, just because God entered my life didn’t mean it got easier, but it did mean that it would be worth it. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Days after that, I sat in a doctor’s office alone as I heard my doctor say those words I will never forget. I finally got my diagnosis, a rare but serious neuro-muscular disease without a cure. That same day, my husband came home from work and told me he wanted a separation.

I came back to Chicago to stay with my parents and get a major surgery. The surgery resulted in a life threatening pulmonary embolism. While going through treatment for that, I got diagnosed with several more conditions. Then, just days before Christmas, I received divorce papers.

After the divorce came to a close, I felt my health was actually improving. But, I got bit by a tick and got lyme disease and an additional infection sending me right back down. It is so much more debilitating than the media and medical industry make it out to be. Every single day I battle dozens of invisible symptoms. There are days I feel like a prisoner trapped in my own body. But then I remember, what I actually am; I am free. In John 16:33 Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I had yet to be baptized as a believer first due to illness and barely being able to get to church, then due to not having a home church as I searched for one. But God used that time to continue to transform me. I finally was able to forgive my now ex-husband realizing that I myself am a sinner and I must forgive him so God will forgive me. It was then I became convicted that I needed to do this. However, I continued to struggle with the who and where for this to take place. As I battled these questions within myself I realized the battle we face is a spiritual one and the devil doesn’t want this. I realized I just need to do this and I need to do this now, period. I need to do this strictly out of obedience to God and to glorify Him.

As Paul says in Philippians chapter 4, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”

Random updates

I haven't posted in a while so I just wanted to pop in with a few updates. As mentioned before long periods of no posts can be both good and bad... good because I've had a lot more to do, bad because when I'm not doing everything else, I'm resting. Right now I should be resting, but instead I thought hey, I need to post... while my arms are screaming at me and my eyes are nearly seeing double. Smart right? I'll make it quick...

1. I have a new MG doctor and she is awesome. First time ever I am actually looking forward to my treatment plan. I'll make a post about this at a later time.

2. Starting October 1st, I'll be on a super strict elimination diet. Basically I can eat grass fed, antibiotic/hormone free meats (though I can't stomach pork or lamb and steak causes reflux... so that pretty much leaves beef, turkey and chicken. yay!) and vegetables (excluding night shades which are potatoes- aahh my favorite!!, peppers, eggplant, tomatoes) and a very small amount of some fruits. No grains, no sugar, no dairy, no soy, no corn, no beans, no fun. Just kidding. It'll be good, but it will be very tough when my blood pressure or blood sugar drops and I can't eat what I normally do to bring it up. I'll include all about this in the doctor post at a later time.

3. I just learned there could be a very strong correlation between lyme disease and blood clot disorders. My exact blood clot disorder. That's crazy. Get out of me lyme! I don't want another pulmonary embolism ever again!

4. Many of my friends are homebound or nearly homebound due to illness. I know when I can't get out having online church/sermons is such a blessing. I thought I would use this opportunity, with his permission of course, to invite you all to join into something exciting. You can listen to the sermons week by week as the Bible is explored as a story. Whether you are considering Christianity or want to grow in your already strong faith, this sermon series is going to be great! Check out Lily Dale Church of Christ and be blessed.

5. Go Phili and Minnesota! If they win tonight I'll be 2nd in a pool of myself and 18 men. Yeah, I just had to throw this in there. haha

Have a blessed week everyone!

Today I was looking at a tree...

This morning I was looking out the window at a tree. I looked up and thought, so many branches all spread out. It's amazing that you look at this tree and it looks as if its just sitting on the ground, and this thin trunk holds up this big tree. 

But we know appearances can be deceiving. It is not the trunk holding up this tree, but rather the roots. 

When a tree is first planted, the roots start forming. As that tree grows and time goes on, the roots also grow and hold firm in the ground.

The roots beneath the ground, that you cannot see, are what make this tree stand, make it grow, and make it stay put when a storm rolls through. The roots are the reason for this tree.

In your daily walk, what are you rooted in? Anything at all? Material things? Relationships? Money? Career? What you are rooted in will determine how you grow. 

As a Christian, Jesus Christ is to be the roots we are grounded in. As a new believer, those roots are just beginning. But with time and effort, those roots will continue to spread out and hold us firmly in place. And in order to be an effective Christian, we must strive for those strong roots.

In order for a tree to grow, it must have certain things- water for instance. It must be fed what it needs to grow. As a Christian, we also need to be fed in order to grow, fed spiritually. We need to be fed with God's word, spoken to us at church as well as read in the Bible, fed with Christian fellowship, fed with prayer and relationship with Jesus. It is only though getting fed, that we may grow. If we lack this spiritual food, like a tree, we will begin to wither and die. 

A tree does not have one branch, but many. And together they make up this beautiful creation. Those branches depend on one another as they are all spread out. We as Christians are to have relationship with other Christians, coming together as unique individuals with different spiritual gifts to together create the body of Christ. 

Some say they cannot believe in God because they cannot see God. How do you believe roots exist if they are under the ground and you cannot see them? Because you can see the tree that it produces? Let others see what God has produced in you, through you. Ground yourself in Him, feed your spirit, nourish it, and allow others to see Him through you as each and every day you grow into something beautiful even through the storms. 

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John 15:1-8

6So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, 7rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7