Well, here we are over 3 weeks after her birth, and I'm finally here to say she arrived! I've written a birth story for both of the boys so I had to for her as well, only I've not had any time to do so until now... and that's only because we got our broken swing fixed so I can now set her down while she naps! Hoping the boys stay content while I write this.
As has always been the case, I had been nervous she would arrive early, so we had my mom come early just in case so we would have someone here for the boys. But then stressor after stressor pure insanity happened, much of what I wrote about last time, and I guarantee that delayed labor. 41 weeks rolled around and still no baby. My doctor said I really couldn't/shouldn't go past 42 weeks so induction was set for exactly 42 weeks if I didn't go into labor. I tried everything I felt I safely could because induction or c-section was the absolute last thing I wanted, but stress continued and my body just wasn't ready to do this.
Finally at 41 weeks and 6 days... actually the night before that at 8pm, I started getting contractions. Well, I should say I started going into labor. Because I had contractions for weeks and weeks before this just nothing getting stronger. So 8pm early labor started and eventually I was able to dose off for a couple hours, only to wake up around 1am with the contractions stronger. At that point I didn't fall back asleep even though I tried. Around 5am I knew baby was going to come along soon. I was awake by myself and got ready, finished packing my bags and laid on the couch through the contractions. Around 7am I went to see J and Z who were waking up and I told J I'd been having contractions. I said let's give the boys a normal morning with breakfast and then do baths and go from there (because we were still dealing with the staph rashes I had to keep bandaging and I wanted to avoid my mom having to deal with that with both of them alone). We did all that and when I was in the middle of something contractions weren't too bad, but if I wasn't doing anything I could definitely feel them. I wanted to stay home as long as possible for our boys. I was very concerned leaving Z for the first time with as absolutely attached he is to J. It was almost lunch time and I asked my mom to pick something up so I could be full going into this. While she was gone I was like, yeah we probably need to go soon. But she returned, I ate, and I said ok let's do nap time to give the boys a little more time with us here, I'll be fine. So we did nap time. During nap time, I thought I really should get going soon. They were definitely getting painful- for hours now I was having to stop and close my eyes and breathe through them. So the boys woke up, we said goodbye, and headed out on the hour drive there. By then I think contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart and hurting pretty bad.
When we got to the hospital, for the first time in all 3 births I lost it a bit. I don't know if it was because this was going to be my last time doing this, or because I was finally getting my baby girl, or because I was scared the pain I was going to have to go through, or fearing baby would be too big and I'd need a c-section after all... probably all the above hitting me at once. We got to the nurses station and I was crying and she asked "Is this your first baby?" I then laughed and said "No, it will be my third born, not sure why I'm like this..." But at that moment I felt like a new mom all over again... a new room to labor and birth in, new nurses, even a new doula this time around because mine wasn't doing that anymore.
At first I got nervous, the nurse seemed pushy talking about putting monitors on me and having me sign certain papers and such. But oddly enough as soon as I gave her my birth plan, she completely backed off. Maybe it was my birth plan or who she saw I had for my doctor (the most natural minded around who many natural minded mamas drive hours just to see so everyone knows that) but everything changed then and it was hands off. In fact it was SO hands off through the process I was shocked and at times myself even had to ask for a few things. Anyways, I was 6 cm dialated when I got to the hospital... yay! In the past I got there when I was only 3-4 so I was glad to have already gotten through some of it from home. Shortly after my doula arrive and things really started to rev up in pain.
This was absolutely my most vocal labor... like screaming, pretty sure I didn't do that before. It's so odd how every labor and delivery is so different. With JJ, I had horrible back labor and needed pressure applied to my lower back so much that I had bruises. I also tried many positions and the labor tub. With Z, I had to look J in the eye for some reason and that helped. This time I didn't want anyone to touch me, I was much more emotional and much more vocal as well.
Then I knew I was in transition. At that point I couldn't talk, I was out of energy, I said I couldn't do this anymore. Every time you say you can't do this anymore, that's when you know you hit transition... the time has almost come! I just kept telling myself in my head that, she's almost here! It's almost over! You can do this... actually no, God can do this through you, and I said that one out loud.
My absolute favorite part of labor (is there a favorite part of being in the worst intense pain in your life?!) was when I said "I didn't even open my bible yet! I need to!" Because I did that with each one. Being in such pain and a bit out of it, one of my doulas (my doula kindly brought her backup also) asked if I wanted her to read it to me. Yes. That moment, me on the bed face down over pillows, J hand on my back rubbing it and her reading to me... it was special, it was beautiful, it was my moment. And my other doula took a picture I will cherish forever.
Eventually I said ok to getting checked again and I was 9 cm. I said to the dr, you had me push at 8 cm last time, can I not do that again? He said I could push whenever I feel the need to. I was like "Really?! Because I felt the need to a long time ago!" Again.. feeling like a new mom clueless all over again. But he sat there and I kept saying I know you know I'm not ready because you're not ready and the table with all the stuff isn't even in here. Haha I'm a bit too perceptive even in immense pain. So he said "Ok, I'll get the table, does that make you feel better?"
So there is this time in between transition and pushing where everything tends to pause. At that time I was joking around. I can't remember what but I know I kept saying probably ridiculous things and questioning my dr in joking ways. Those were good moments also. Then the table came in but it wasn't until my doula pointed out he was getting suited up that I knew it was for real. And I probably lost it again... I don't want to go through this, but she's almost here... but this is my last time. Such bitter sweet moments.
With JJ I had literally 3-4 hours of pushing, it was horrible. With Z it was about 1-2. Here we were, I asked if it would be soon. One said yes, the other said it could be hours. My dr said it's up to you and how much you could push. I said "Remember I have myasthenia and it's so hard for me to do this. Can you help?" I said every time I wasn't going to have assistance but every time when I got to this point beyond exhausted, I agreed to it. This time I asked for it. It was only about 5-10 minutes later, 5-10 minutes of pushing and she was here! Let me tell you THAT was THE most painful delivery of them all. Oh. My. Goodness. I worried she was going to be like 12 lbs. The head was bad but the shoulders... oh the shoulders... I knew it was shoulders without looking or anyone telling me. Wow. July 21st, 7:09 pm just hours short of being induced at 42 weeks! My last baby arrived naturally and another prayer was answered.
She was placed on my chest and I did it! It was over! Again what did I do? I looked... I looked and laughed and maybe cried I don't even remember, and I said "It's actually a girl!" I was still in disbelief but there she was. She was screaming! That actually scared me. JJ came out pretty silent and needed pumped because breathing issues. Z I think cried only a little. This baby wow, she was a screamer. She reminded me of what my parents said I was... I made myself known once I was out, and she did as well! She was here and she wanted the whole world to know it! But because that never happened to me before I kept asking if she was ok. They assured me this was in fact normal and a good thing, she was breathing well and doing well.
Then another shock was she just continued to lay there on me. I know the first 1-2 hours baby should remain on mama but with the boys JJ had to come off of me immediately to get pumped to breathe and I was absolutely out of it sick, and with Z they took him very shortly after just to put a diaper on and weigh and measure. She stayed on me. And in the process she pooped on me... and pooped again... and again. What on earth. I was like is anyone going to take her off of me at some point and clean us up here?!
Finally they took her and got everything cleaned up so I could finally eat as well. She weighed in at 9 lbs 11 oz... we like to say she was actually over 10 lbs before all that poop came out. 😂 And she was 21.5 inches long.
Now the name, oh the name. Ok so before we knew gender, two names stood out to me- the girl name had to be a God thing because I don't even know if I had ever heard it before. It was Ezra for a boy (though if it was a boy I actually wanted Elijah instead)... but Ezra means "Lord, help" and we were certainly going to need it. And Eliahna for a girl. When I went through my list of names, I was shocked J actually liked that one. And there was no other girl name we could agree on. That one felt what God wanted. But I struggled with this one, not because of the name but because of the spelling. I literally had about 20 different ways to spell it. I didn't want it to be spelled Ellie at the beginning because I didn't want that to be her nickname. I didn't want it to be spelled the traditional way of Eliana because I read about girls then accidentally being called Elaina. The way we spelled it was the one I just kept coming back to. Besides all our kids have an h in their name, so it only makes sense right? Sure. Eliahna it is. Pronounced Ellie AH nuh. Name means "God has answered." And that he has. My girl is finally here and worth the wait. And so many prayers answered in the process during the pregnancy and delivery. Thank you Jesus for this gift of life who is finally here!
I have so much else to say but I'm going to leave this here in being a positive post, and because I need to attend to the kids, and I'll come back hopefully soon to add another post- of the issues, the struggles, the needs and more. Please come back to read it! Thank you for your prayer through this difficult pregnancy and for rejoicing with us that she is safely here! Please continue prayer for us for so many reasons. Through it all, through the trials, through the pain, and through the joy, I praise Him!
PS. I don't have time to edit before posting this so sorry for any errors! Will come back later to do that.
