About Me, Not About Me: March 2016

Monday, March 14, 2016

Biggest update yet

Each morning I wake up and read a devotion and a verse of the day. Today's verse was Romans 8:28 which is 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called to live according to His purpose.'

Nearly 4 years ago my heart was shattered. After moving 20 hours away, losing my health and not knowing what more there was to lose, my husband at the time left me for another. Right around that same time, my life forever changed for the better. One moment in time, I stood up both literally and figuratively for my faith, for Jesus suffering and dying on the cross so that we could be here, so that we could have eternal life with Him! At that moment, this light and burst of energy flew through me and filled me and I was overcome with something deeper than emotion. I was filled with the Holy Spirit. I was saved. I made Jesus Lord of my life. An ongoing transformation has occurred within me ever since.

The following months and even years didn't get easier as what followed included several serious diagnoses, moving back to Chicago, surgery, a pulmonary embolism and what I never imagined happening to myself- divorce. But I kept my eyes on above, I kept my focus on Him and He filled me with strength to get through it.

Making Jesus Lord of your life doesn't mean life here on earth will necessarily get easier, but it does mean it will sure be worth it. It will be worth it when you have to one day answer to no one other than Him. It will be worth it when your choice here on earth leads to eternal life in heaven. And He will be faithful and good to those who have been called to live according to His purpose, to those who desire to live for Him despite their circumstances, to those who love Him and love others... making that love a choice, an action.

I have struggled, I have failed, but I continue to keep my eyes on Him and He continues to bless me immensely more than I could have ever imagined already. During the time of all my loss, I had a vision come to me. I was sitting in a park having a picnic with a man and his little girl. That vision has remained in the back of my mind. Along with that, ever since the day I became a Christian, I had an instant desire to get into ministry in some way, however I am physically capable, and if my health ever permitted the thought of missionary has continuously cross my mind. Lastly, not anything spiritual but of my own, I've always had a desire to live in a small town with a close family like community, to see horses every day and be out in nature. And on a somewhat joking matter, always thought it would be pretty awesome to work right across the street from where I live.

Well, God has given me that and then some. I have been blessed with a godly man, a man who has gone through so much himself yet continues to serve others in a big way. He has overcome his own struggles and stepped up into Senior Ministry. He is faithful and loving and one of the most amazing, active fathers I have ever witnessed. When he sees me, he sees my heart, not my neck brace or my wheel chair when I have to use one. He's shared in my pains, in my joys, in my mistakes and in my life. He's taught me it's not just all about truth, that you have to have some grace too.

Him and I have had a lot stacked against us but one thing we know is we only need one that is for us... If God is for us who can be against us. Romans 8:31. Doubts have often filled us but just recently we had a conversation that shook up our lives. We both realized we can live in faith or we can live in fear. We decided to live in faith and to take a leap of faith in trusting God in one of the biggest decisions of our lives.

Saturday, at a waterfall in my favorite state of North Carolina, he proposed, and I said yes! We are beyond excited to start our lives serving God together.

You know that vision I had a while back? That desire to be in ministry. Well once again God works for the good of those who love Him and are called to live according to His purpose. My fiance has a beautiful daughter and I now get the joy of being her stepmom. As a Senior Pastor, I get to serve along side him in whatever ways I am capable. He lives in a small town beautifully surrounded by mountains. Just so happens where he lives is right across the street from where he works. But we can also be missionaries right in our own community, leading people to Jesus. If ever a dream comes true, this is it. But it's not when you wish upon a star and it's not a fairy tale ending. It's only the beginning, and it's only happening because him and I both have made the choice to serve God and serve others, the choice to love not as an emotion but as an action, the choice to become one and put each other before our individual selves.

We are not naive in thinking it's going to be easy, rather we know this is going to be probably the hardest thing we've ever done. But we've both been through a lot and we know we can get through more. We can't do it on our own but we can do it with Him. The verse I live by is Philippians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It is true, we can do all things when we allow God to work in us and through us, when we glorify Him for all His goodness. God is good, ALL the time. Don't give up even when times get tough. You can't see the bigger picture, but He certainly can. He will work for the good of those who love Him and are called to live according to His purpose.

So for the details you all are probably wondering- We're planning on getting married very soon and having a very simple and small family ceremony. At a later date we do hope to have a celebration gathering with friends from both near and far, but details for that will come later.

Please join us in prayer for all the multiple things that have been in progress and coming together, closing on his house, to not get stressed with all the details, for a memorable and personal day as we take this leap of faith, and that wake up every day of our lives making the choice to love each other and others by our actions, in both truth and grace no matter the circumstances. That we always choose to put God first, to love Him, to honor Him and to serve Him wherever we are and whatever we do. I pray all of these thing in Jesus name, Amen.

God bless and whether you are a friend of his or a friend of mine, thank you for your continued love and support.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Originally Posted: What if you knew...

***When I came back to Chicago 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: December 4, 2013
What If You Knew You Were Going to Hell

It's been on my mind for a while now. Who am I writing this blog to? Who am I writing it for? Is it being delivered how God wants it to? I feel my thoughts get scattered and go off on tangents in different directions. I feel some of the message I write is for Christians, believers to stay on path with Christ. I feel much else of the message is for non-believers, those who don't have Christ. I pray that the message I write is inspired by God and that it touches the right person in the right way at the right time.

What is my purpose? Honestly, all I want is to fulfill both of those purposes mentioned above right there. I want to keep Christians, believers, on the path of Christ, as satan may often get in the way with temptation all around us. I want also to bring others to know Jesus, to lead them on the path of accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior. Within that right there, I feel it is so very important, yet unknown to many unbelievers, that they are in fact unbelievers. I know because I was there. Saying you are a Christian doesn't make you a Christian. Jesus makes you a Christian. You can't have Christianity without Christ; the name itself begins with Christ.

Why is this important? This is the most important thing in all of life, being a Christian. It is the most important thing because without Christ you will not, I repeat, you will not get to Heaven. I am saying this not from my own mouth but reiterating what is in the Bible. The ONLY, only way to Heaven is through Jesus. I encourage you if you haven't already, start reading the Bible. Don't be intimidated by its size or that you don't understand the words. I would encourage you to start in the New Testament, and also would encourage you to look up different translations of the Bible. I personally could not understand the King James Version. However, I find the New International Version and New Living Translation much easier to understand and both are often use within Christian churches. Also, I find God's Word and the Good News translations easy to understand. It is important that we find a version that we can understand, because we must understand the Word in order to be able to live it. Different versions do not mean different messages. The Bible is the Bible, period. However, just like we as humans talk differently, use different words, different languages, etc.. the Bible is in different translations so to give us a translation we can understand and relate to.

Being a Christian isn't a name tag, it's a life style, the only life style if you want to get to Heaven. Back up your declaration of being a Christian with actions. Profess with your mouth and believe with your heart that Jesus is Lord and you will be saved. It's not just believing in Jesus, it's trusting Him as your Lord and Savior, as your only pathway to Heaven... the way, the truth, the life.

Originally Posted: Those People

***When I came back to Chicago 3 years ago for my surgery, I started a blog as one place all family and friends could go to read updates on my health. I then realized it was also a way of promoting awareness. Shortly after that, I started a second blog, for the purpose of sharing my faith. As time went on, I became convicted about something.

It was wrong of me to separate the two, as my faith, Jesus, is the absolute reason for my strength in getting through this. I could not exclude Him from my health blog even if others suggested to do so. Thus, I started talking more about my faith on my main blog. Now, many times, it's more about Him than me, which is where I came up with the current title 'About Me, Not About Me'. This story may be about me, but really it's not about me, it's about Him. That old blog still sits out there no longer being used. So I decided over time I will begin to move those posts from there to here to have everything in one place.

In just beginning to read some of my first posts, I've realized the amount of work God has truly done in me. A lot of times we hate the journey and want to get to our next destination, but it is in that very journey that God molds you into who He created you to be. Enjoy each mile of your own journey and know that God is working through you if you let Him.***

Originally Posted: November 20, 2013
Those People

Those people...

...those people who fake smile to your face then turn and talk bad about you once you walk away.

...those people who don't send you cards, gifts, even phone calls but expect the world given to them in return.

...those people who complain about everything and everyone until it is about them, then there are no complaints.

...those people who will have someone's back just because they are family or a friend even though they are doing something wrong and should instead help them to get on the right path.

...those people who make an excuse for everything they do that can be seen as wrong but in their own minds say it's ok.

...those people who lie and lie and lie some more for whatever reason or no reason at all.

...those people who never "like" or comment anything good to you on facebook but then chime in at every opportunity you make a mistake or something can be taken the wrong way to argue you on it.

...those people who buy themselves everything but turn the other way when asking for donations comes around.

...those people who only come out during election season to beat you to death with hurtful words about your choices.

...those people who claim to be Christian but never read the Bible or care what it has to say about being one.

...those people who volunteer to help you out however needed when you're feeling well then are no where to be found when you really need that help.

...those people who hurt you then tell you it's your fault or it's for your benefit.

...those people who hold their pride above everything and everyone else no matter how many people get hurt in doing so.

...those people who make a promise then rip it away when it's no longer convenient for them.

...those people who with their words say "love you" but with their actions kick you after you've already fallen down.

...those people who ask for more and more and more and different and this and that but don't even appreciate what they already have.

...those people who have no time when someone is in need but have all the time in the world to shop, party, go out to eat or watch football.

...those people who read this and think "that's so and so or so and so" pointing the finger, but never at oneself.

Don't be one of "those people." Look at this holiday season as a time to change your ways, your attitude, your heart. Reach out to those in need- whether it be the homeless, the disabled or just a family member, friend or acquaintance going through a tough time. And don't stop there. Do something nice for someone every single day. Or go through this list one by one each day and make sure you are not one of "those people".

Originally Posted: People Pleasing

I'll never be "right." I'll never be "good enough." I'll never be all you imagined me to be.

And I'm alright with that.

It is not my goal to be who others want me to be. I have no intention to be who others want me to be, especially when the word "others" refers to non-believers. Why? Because I strive to live a Christ-like life.

Living righteously in a wrong filled world is difficult. But, if you have opposing forces from non-believers, you know you are doing something right because the devil is trying to stop you. Don't let him. Use his fire to set you off on an even more righteous pursuit.

If you try to please people, you will never win. We weren't put here to please people. Where will that get us? Maybe a new job, maybe a new relationship, maybe this or that. How stable is any of that? Not at all if it can so easily be taken away. More importantly, how selfish is that? Extremely selfish... using each other to get ahead. Fleeting pleasures. Don't pursue them. The devil has set a trap.

You will also never win at this because every person is different. Every person has their own thought about who you should be, who they want you to be. You can't please all these different people all at once unless you create yourself multiple personalities. Frankly, that doesn't sound like a smart idea. Why we create this image and expect it but not create and expect it for ourselves is beyond me. Furthermore, if someone like this tries to frame you into a specific person, most likely you will never meet their individual expectations even if you only try to please one person. Their expectations will undoubtedly change as you near reaching their pictured image of you. They don't want you better. They want something to complain about. They want you lower than them. They speak poorly of you to increase their self esteem. They are probably the ones who need changing. And in the process of you moving closer to what they want of you, you will most likely lose yourself and have to go put all those pieces back together once you finally decide pleasing this person isn't worth your time.

If you surround yourself with non-believers and evil-doers that is who you will become. Of course as believers we want to bring others to a Christ-like life and we should do so. Love those who are hard to love, like Jesus did, but don't become like them. Plant that seed so that when their heart is softened by God the seed will grow into a beautiful plant. But, we should have a firm circle of believers, saved Christians, to help strengthen us into who God wants us to be.

What does this all come back to? Honesty. If you are going to lie, whether about yourself or anything else, really that's just saying who you truly are is no good. And if that's the case, or if you don't know who you truly are, perhaps some self reflection is necessary. In figuring out who you are or who you should be, talk to God. He already has the answer. And then be that person no matter what anyone else has to say about it... because the only ones who will say something bad about someone who is following Christ are non-believers and evil doers influenced by the devil. Being honest is as free as you can get. The truth will set you free!

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10