This is where it begins

I wanted to write about something, but God says write about "you", meaning me. Uggh. I don't mean to complain I just have no idea what to say this time. How about a random post? Let's see what this turns into...

Life. Wait a minute, I'm already off topic. My life? Alright alright. My life. I thought I had it all planned out. I would go to school, get married, work as an event planner traveling the world- or at least the country, eventually start my own business, own a couple dogs, buy a house, enjoy entertaining at our house, so on and so forth until retirement, when my husband and I would relax, drink wine, sit on the porch, travel, overlook the beach, and that getting sick part wouldn't hit until the age of 85+. That was the plan.

Well, I completed the school, married and event planner part. The rest, not so much. That getting sick at the age of 85+ hit me quite a few years early... about 60 years early. People say it's better it happens younger because you have your whole life ahead of you and you're younger so you'll bounce back. Honestly, I very much dislike repeatedly hearing this. I don't like to be reminded that I'm sick at a young age. And here's the other thing...

It is called chronic illness, not acute illness. Acute is something you will get better from like the flu, strep, even pneumonia. Chronic is not. Chronic means ongoing, possibly forever, no end in sight. Do not take what I'm saying as negative, it's actually the opposite. It's coming to acceptance on that which I've been given, chronic illness. It's making peace with it and figuring out how to live my life with this uninvited friend. Whenever people do the opposite and act like it's acute when it is not by asking or implying that I'm better or will get better, I'm not a fan of that. You can have hope. I have hope. But just don't be in denial.

So, my new life. I have no plans. Of course there are things I hope for, like going into remission being one of them, but how can you "plan" to go into remission? You can't. Thus, no plan. I take it day by day. I walk through what comes to me. I take in what is presented. I give out what I am able.

My eyes were closed and now they are open. Before getting sick, I had this plan and that's all I saw, that's all I was going for in life. "The American Dream" (revised slightly), right? Not so. I see now how fake this world and many people in it can be. Is it really the American Dream? Or should it be the American Dream? Because if it really was would all this nonsense we are surrounded with matter? Value people, not objects. Use objects, not people. We have it all wrong. Media and marketing spits out what it wants you to hear, what it wants you to believe, where it wants to guide you. Technology and entertainment has turned us into robots in some sort. Where is the true joy? The real meaning of life?

I'll tell you where. It's back many years ago. When families used to run around outside, play board games, have dinner together and actually talk. No one had cell phones or the internet or video games. Maybe I was born in the wrong era but I strongly feel we've gone so far in the wrong direction.

I don't know where this post is going. Heck I didn't even know where it began. It is what it is. Such is life. You can pull good out of bad or you can pull bad out of good. You can do whatever you want to do. But I hope what you do is worth it. I hope what you do makes a difference. I hope what you do opens your eyes to the beauty that surrounds you and closes them to the false make up of this materialist world.

The End? Or is it the beginning. You decide.